2Days since I last blogged.. havent really got much to say, ah wells. I dint go visiting to my aunts' places this year cause I was really so darn tired... Justin got 100bucks from each of them la, so jealous.. haha. That would be sufficient enough for me to buy my new bowling balls already. Ah well... guess I got to save up on my own. Soon Soon... mwahaha.

Okies yesterday had caroling in the morning. We caroled for the 9:15 and 11:15 mass sessions. Guess some people were touched by our singing? lol... I wouldnt know eh? but there were instances we were like singing to nobody and the only person clapping was alex at one point. Haha... after the caroling, me and nick sang part of this new and cool alleluia known as "The Festive Alleluia" to some of the other choir peeps, and we all started beatboxing to the rhythm, it sounded real good alright... I'm sure the choir's gonna love the alleluia when they hear it!!! yeah yeah! After the caroling we all went to pastamania... yum yum! long time never eat so I really enjoyed my meal, but I might have ordered a little too much.. hmmms(maybe I just dint add tobasco sauce to my garlic bread this time around?... haha. Oh and teased this guy at the counter by speaking in an Italian accent, haha was really funny cause he was like teasing Cherie so I decided to tease him. Sure was a sporting guy eh... haha. Merry Xmas! Okies... after that we went to play pool at parkway builders - mega pool? We played for about 2hours I think? haha... and I was being lame by not aiming when I played with Cheryl, haha. damn funny... let her win. =X I'm sure she knew I wasn't playing seriously, but only after she won... haha! Okies, after that went for combined choir sang with all the old foggies... can sleep boy, they can't read scores or something... haha, really really bad! ah well. Mass was okies with Archie being the main celebrant of mass, can't remember what was his homily on, but I can distinctly remember this kid who kept looking at Cherie especially throughout the whole mass. Haha, funny boy, pretend only.. but it was so obvious to all of us. Den Cheryl actually approached him and asked if he liked Cherie, he said no. But c'mon how old was he? which idiot would admit they like a gal? haha.. had dinner after that, nice fish slice bee hoon soup, yum yum! Really luv it, especially with lotsa chilli(the small red ones). After that had a mass online session with tons of g2 people, haha... had fun talking rubbish, but it was more of a discussion on some stuff I wanted to do for the choir.

Today had land training, when I left the house my stomach was feeling so bad I had to stop after 2stops and rush to the mrt toilet and relieve myself. But it felt really good after that, of course I was late for training. Okies, dint really do much for training today but I'm like damn weak la... so yeah la. Learnt this new stroke oso, captain and vice-captain went to look at the olympic videos and watched the strokings and taught me. :) but was really mentally exhausting,after that had briefing on next year's stuff and all... so MUCH stuff to remember... zzzZZZzzz... mentally exhausting you know. Haha... *Sigh* but this captain, I duno wat to say, I dun wanna quit but I feel like quitting.. the team's like dead already, only 4people turned up for training today, what's the point of training when there's no one else there to push you to work harder? yeah after training and the really long briefing, it was already noon I think, went home... talked on the phone and dozed off all the way till 7pm. dint really do much today, it's gonna be worse the next few days, dont know how to complete my homework. *Sigh*

Oooo... here comes the most interestin part, there's this "Festive Alleluia" I heard from one of Darren Leong's CD, it was really really good. and yes it was the one I mentioned earlier, anyways. I mentioned to Darren Leong about singing it and teaching it to the choir! and yup, the choir works really fast, it was only yesterday I mentioned about it and Marissa has bought us the scores as a present for us to teach. :D Marissa's so nice and cool! but she said she aint gonna, we gotta teach her. So yup! I got people from each section so they can learn the parts and teach their respective sections. Hopefully all goes well and we can sing it for easter, we might be having some singing session like we did this year. Woo woo! Gonna be real fun and tiring. But I guess lots of praying will help! Yup.. that's all for today I guess. :P 2more days till retreat!

Hohoho!!! Merry Xmas!!! So sad.. ='( she bought me a jacket from shanghai and it was too small... :( :( so many times people by for my clothes that are 1size smaller than my size.. I'm not that small!!! yeah... midnight mass like I said wasn't good. There was just something missing in the atmosphere that dint give me the feeling of christmas. at least I saw lots of old friends after mass, which was great I guess... but I saw backstabbing liar guy who pretended to be nice, so I had to pretend to be nice and wish him a Merry Xmas! after which the whole of g2 went to jon chia's place and celebrated xmas... but the whole lot of us dint really do anything. when we reached his place, everyone just started trading presents with one another so it was very chaotic but I guess that lasted for a short only. I wanna thank Darren Leong for getting me the "Heart of Worship - The Passion" cd... one of these days I'm gonna suffer a heart attack from you people surprising me with such presents. I think Darryl and Nick were damn shocked when they recieved their presents. after all the exchanging of presents we had to carol for the hosts of the house. haha... but it dint really sound that good. Ah well... good attempt at least, whats done cannot be undone. we just slacked and started eating after the carolling session(we only sang 3songs... the brownies were just fabulous... yum yum. Okies... den everyone wanted Gerald to tell his "life stories", but some people were unhappy with the way everyone was treating Gerald... ah well... I got nothing to say. Oh, I couldnt find the chocolates that June gave me that I put into my pocket... but when I found it.. it was too late.. :'(. Luckily I was smart enough to bring a change of clothings. After a while we all just went into the living room and slacked and opened our christmas presents... hehe. got some interesting presents, especially from J.Bek...den after that just slept. stupid glenn kept waking me up in the morning when he eventually fell asleep himself.. grr! after that Darryl woke me up and said everyone left when Joanna and Pris were outside talking. after that just went home by cab with them den went home zzZZzz.. tired. I still am very tired.. ah well, that's all folks!

Hey peeps!!! It's been 2days since I last blogged... too many things happened at home. My family ruined this christmas for me man... christmas this year is just so fucked up. My family fuck me upside down, Mark's a lousy shit head who ruined combined choir. Everything just sucks. I'm at home now, but this is the first time I came home in like 2 - 3 days. Remember I fought with my brother? Yeah... that bastard came home that night and he couldnt find his stuff when I dint even take it and he started accusing me of it... He even threatened to delete all my stuff from the computer. I was really emotional that day... I was so sad I cried for over half hour plus in front of father and even some of the G2 people. Just checked and my brother deleted some of my stuff.. really hate him. Bastard can't think everytime... just does things without thinking first... den I wanted to rush home by cab to help me find his lousy shit stuff, when I got on the cab he called and said he found it. He is a bastard I swear... when I needed my mum to talk to me and console me, she kept scolding me and I shouted until some neighbourhood in katong could hear me cause I could hear my echoes so far away... Fuck it man. I'm not talking to my mum anymore, she doesn't deserve to be called my mum. I've been staying over at Darren Leong's place for 2nights already. Tonight I'm gonna spend it at Jon. Chia's place since we're having a party there... ah well. Better... I hate my house, hate this home. Hate my mum... can't even trust me! I dont care about how she feels... when I reached home I just ignored her and she said... "Go church still like that, christmas also dont wanna talk to me.. bla bla bla!" dint bother listening to what she was trying to say, do you think I really care? Had to borrow money from Darren Leong cause I was starving and had no money. Not gonna ask my mother for money man. No way... She thinks she has her own pride, I have mine... Some kinda disrespect I'm getting. So what if I'm young. Cause of her, I had to scream and I lost my voice... I got this damn sore throat that caused me to not be able to reach the high notes for my choir singing. Luckily it's better... but it's her fault I can't sing properly. I just wanted to pull out of combined choir and pageant cause of that night. You know how hurting it feels... Life sucks cause of my mum. Christmas is ruined this year. Ah well... what can I do. I don't really care.. I'm gonna go out back to Darren Leong's house in a couple of hours I guess.. should start burning my things and hiding it from my brother or something. Reckless bitch. Ah that's about it.
Oh... went to church during the afternoon yesterday for sound check. Guess it was okay, after which me n nick went to lose for the cheapo pressies we getting for everyone in g2. :P sorry if I dint some of you guys really sincere presents, but I'm low on cash this year *Sigh*. I'll try to get a good pressie for you next year. After which went to life bookshop at parkway parade again... Wooo! this time I introduced Darren Leong to the 2CDs of heart of worship to Darren... he dint really like de urban one, but he thought that "the passion - the heart of worship" was not bad. ah wells... den i listened to a new release of Michael W. Smith. Man... his singing is really good alright. Woo, I let nick listen to it and he really liked it. Ah well, guess I gotta save money and buy those for myself. Rather buy this myself den let people gimme them as christmas pressies. So pai seh.. I just love them so much. Ah well... Must buy my 2bowling balls first! MWAHAHA... oh yeah, I went bowling that day and I bowled like crap. 141 average only... dont know why, was like I bowl a bit and I felt so darn tired so I just anyhow bowled after that. But my friend said that the lanes at pocketbowl is similar to that of victors, I guess I'll be training more at pocketbowl now since she said that... the lanes there are very very hard to master. At least de rates are cheaper. :D save money... kekek.
Ooo. Last night a few of us stayed over at Darren Leong's place but we dint really do much, we watched this really funny video, it was like a combination of the terminator and the birth of christ... haha! really funny... oh den we just sorted all the goodies into the bags for everyone. Den woke up this morning and all of us had to start writing the cards for the g2 people. I didn't write for everyone in the choir, there's just sooooo many new members and they haven't really been coming. Even some of the "older" members never come often so it's like what's there to write to them? There were quite a number of blank cards, 6 of us and no one could write anything, so you can imagine... ah well. That's all... I need some rest before mass later on.. *Yawn*

BOO! Woah.. got sore throat again. But it's a sore throat well earned or well-deserved you could say. Wahaha~ That stupid conductor Mark doesn't like basses was standing in front of me yesterday... So I was singing very loudly into his ear,haha. Think he got pissed, that's why its a sore throat well-deserved. So right now I'm drinking tons of water so I can reach those high notes again... Sore throat no good though. Ah well... Combined choir's like soooo gonna suck this year. Yesterday had the worst attendance in all the combined choir practices, everyone hates Mark you see. Just cause of one guy Christmas mass is gonna be spoiled... :( Sobx! Christmas last year was really good... but this year it'd be nothing compared to last year's. On the brighter side, I'm sure everyone's gonna enjoy de pageant this year! The choral has been practicing real hard ( including myself! )... Yups. But it promises to be good. So for all those going for midnight mass! Be there for the pageant or be square! I swear it's gonna be good alright.
Wooo... had a fight with my brother the couple of days. As in quarrel... luckily no fight. I can't be bothered to fight. Yeah.. cause he stole my CD-Roms and used my handphone without my permission. Hmms... den his gf called me this morning and talked to me... Woah lao! BACKSTABBER BITCH sia she... she went to tell my brother everything I told her. So pissed!!!! I'm never talking to that woman again. She doesn't deserve to be trusted anymore, make my brother call me and start scolding me. Bloody hell... No one can be trusted. I shall not trust people so easily anymore! Stupid bitch. Grrr!
Oh yeah, went to the Leongs' place yesterday.. haha. den after that went to "play" pool... a couple of games that's all. den watched de other choir people play pool... zzzZZZzz,(stupid Cherie! Know you're reading this. :D). Went for dinner after that then for combined choir. Poor Darryl climbed over the gate and tore his shirt Daffy bought for him for Australia. Darryl... don't be sad la! Relax!!! After that went for supper... Gosh,I'm greedy! Keep eating and eating... haha. Just went home after everything, talked on the phone... sleep! :P yeah...
Got self bowling training later! Must bowl properly! TRASH TEMASEK JC!!! we are gonna get top 4 next year babies! So long peeps~~~ Dont forget to tag my board. Comment on my new layout too... I got this cute bloggie skin... haha

Wooo... how long I never blog already.. haha. I'm so jealous, some other peoples' bloggies all so nice ya know, been trying to find nice blogskins but it's so hard. I actually wanted to just make my own bloggie skin by learning html and scripting it. But just not enough time... been wanting to learn html for a couple of years already but just have never done it... :'( booohooo!

Oh, the past few days really did lotsa of singing and training. Had training last wednesday to friday. Sea training,land then sea. My goodness, cool down was like 70 pull ups on the first sea training I came back from attachment.. and I was so demoralised cos I couldnt do my pull-ups properly. I was like crap, never train for 1month then my fitness drop like siao-ness. Last time do 50pull ups wont die yet.. but now!?!?! Do 30 already wanna die.okies... then thursday morning went for gym, damn shiok! I just love gym so much,makes your feel so damn good! after that had penitential service, so some of the G2 people came down and sang, my good-ness it wasnt easy cause a few of the songs we had to sing for... were not even in the breaking bread booklet or anything so there were no notes or scores to catch the way the song went... only de older members in G2 knew the song. Sobx... 10more years then I'll know all de songs... hahaha. Oh yeah, I couldn't even make my hands straight cause training killed my arms. Oof! keke...
Friday morning, din't know what time land training was so I dint go initially den I got woken up in the morning by a phonecall on my house phone. Woke up and found that I hit my handphone to the floor and it was ringing.. 9missed calls! I think 10 when I counted.. madness. My teammate and my captain were calling me. So I answered my teammate's call and it was my senior! Den she say "see la! attachment for so long never come training" :$ haha... sorry la! half-way through we were talking captain called "I want you to take cab and go to kallang now! Darren Tan's the only one there!" boohoo... Spent 7.80 for cab fare plus 1buck cause of peak period so 8.80!!! Wasted so much money la... damn sad damn sad. After sea training, rushed home... bathed then went for bowling training. Woah I got a 166Average.. haven't got so high in ages. I'm making lotsa progress in my bowling, I hope it's good enough... I need about a 190 average for A'div next yr. My other teammates really worry me. I hope we trash TJC bowling team and win something so I'll feel so happy for myself. The first team just has so much potential and I know we can win... just hope that no one makes stupid mistakes. Jeremy Seow especially... his sparing ah!!! Geesh... his strike rate is not bad.. but his spare rate so crappy. I think he made 4spares in 4games! that's 1spare per game.. how to win!!?!?! he hit a 130++ average. I had 15strikes in total for the 4games I think,so did he.. but I had 21spares? I can't remember... can't be that many right... 3open frames per game! BAH! Ah well... Improve train! Hopefully I got time next year to have personal training under Kieran,he makes me feel as though I got tons of potential. He actually advised me and Jeremy to train hard and try out for the youth nationals next yr... but it's A'levels. I shall see how... Okies.
That wasn't the end of the Friday. Had to rush down for bass sectionals at Darren Leong's house den sing sing sing! Played a fool. keke... shhh. But at least I knew my parts, and I think the basses are really making good progress. Ah wells, really happy to be section leader of such an enthusiastic section dont you say? After that I was just to tired to go for supper with the other guys so I dint go. Hur hur Hur...

Okay,then woke up early on Saturday preparing to sing for wedding, but when I woke up.my throat felt so hoarse so I sms-ed Darren and told him I couldn't make it for the wedding as I wasn't feeling well.yeah, Sandrine wanted to meet the planning committee for the New Year's Eve party and I was like so late and met Darren and he said it was cancelled! BAH! wasted sia.... could have rested at home longer. Okies never mind den, went for lunch at parkway parade after that and had to look for presents to gif the children's home. I think I went to eat again after carolling practice, attendance was really poor. Ah well. So I couldnt find a present at first so I had no choice but to buy this pikachu figurine set! :S but I just hope some small kid gets it and it makes him happy! lalalala. "Sang" for mass,haha.wanted to sing but I just couldn't cos of my voice. had prayer meet after that and we all watched one of the episodes of "touched by an angel", so many of them actually cried... but luckily I played a fool abit so I wouldn't cry. Phew! Ooo... den had supper and as usual talked lots of crap. :D

Sunday already! That was yesterday, went for pagaent practice and thought I was late. I was like de other person other then Gen who was earliest. haha... funny. den it like was there were only 2basses initially and no tenors, there weren't many people for practice yesterday. still remember I was like singing alone at one point and nobody was singing. David told me I sang too fast but then nobody said I was wrong. =D hur hur... Okies. Ah well... den went for lunch at mei yuan. Wooo.. the char siew rice there is rather good ok! haha... den went for combined choir practice which I dint wanna go to initially. Woah! There was like no G2 people... WOOHOO!!! haha.. shh. yeah, but I think alot of people not really interested in singing for combined choir this yr ( from G2 ), but I think cause some of us are really pissed with the attitudes of the other people from de other choir. But heck dem! haha... but Darren was kinda pissed cause of the attendance of the whole choir and the older members werent even there. Ah well... Okies. After that went to parkway and de other choir people went to shop for their xmas clothing, I'm like so not crazy over Xmas clothing since my mum's not rich so I just got a long sleeve shirt and I'm gonna wear it with a long black pants I already have and borrow a tie from Darren Leong. Ah well... den decided to go to Life Bookshop! my goodness!!! i've never seen those Heart of worship CDs... "urban" and "the passion"... woah damn blardy nice la... I was hearing it and I was like woooooooo!!! I have almost the whole heart of worship collection! HEART OF WORSHIP RULES!!! then later de other guys played pool, but I dont like pool so let's skip that. Then went for dinner.. damn shiok! bought food from this malay stall at the food centre, black pepper chicken + fried rice... damn good. Luckily that guy was right or I'd have killed him... haha. den ate de fabulous chwee kway! wooo nice nice. went home and had a good rest and drank lots of water.

Woke up around 9+ this morning cause somebody woke up with an SMS. wooo... weird eh. Okies dint go for training cos I'm like already not feeling well. yeah.. Winnie asked me who knew that parts for the carolling and i submitted about 10basses! Kenneth,Zach,Darren Leong,Myself,Darryl,Duane,Elden,Jared,Nicholas. okay it's 9, I counted wrongly... grrr. Ah well.. The name mentioned above, dont disappoint me :D
Okay, just submitted 2more names. Gerald and Jon Lim, had to confirm with Darren Leong. Thats about it for today... got carolling practice today at 7pm. lalala... which means supper n dinner outside. Wooo! Hope I have fun today. :D

Yoyo people!!!! Feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! haha.. the attachment is finally over. luckily I dint win de presentation thing also, which means I dont need to present in front of MOE! WOOHOO!!! had training today, I got a sexy nice tan lei... I'm like hot. haha... kidding kidding. Hmmmm... really really drained out, my goodness never kayak for 1month. 6laps of kayaking with tubing my goodness, had to pull so hard but oh well, got gym tomorrow! woohoo... need to start training up by myself already or else my fitness will be like crap. Yeah, wait lose the J1s ah, no face. =D
I feel so much happier already, you know praying really does work. I was so so so confused that day with alot of things, but I prayed. Woo.. went to the adoration room for more than half an hour I think? Dint really take notice of the time. Anyways,my mind was really at such an ease after that. Prayin's just so wonderful... should do it more often. Haha... Oh, today was de first time I called up all de basses in g2. Let me tell you,it's such a difficult job... haha almost half of dem dint pick up their phones. So I have to call them another day.. ah wells. Okay... dont have much to say today.. at least I'm beginning not to think about her already!!! Got my mind off things.. Wooohoo!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

"Guilty"

[VS 1 - (DUNCAN)]

I never want to play the games that people play
I never want to hear the things they gotta say
I've found everything I need
I never wanted anymore than I can see
I only want you to believe

[CHORUS - (LEE)]

If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind) - [ALL]
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime - [ALL]
Then I'm guilty

[VS2 - (SIMON)]

I wanna give you all the things you never had
Don't try to tell me how he treats you isn't bad
I need you back in my life
I never wanted just to be the other guy (be the other guy - [LEE])
I never wanted to live a lie

[CHORUS - (LEE)]

If it's wrong to tell the truth
What am I supposed to do
All I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind) - [ALL]
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime - [ALL]
Then I'm guilty

[BRIDGE - (ANTONY)]

Girl I followed my heart
Followed the truth
Right from the start it led me to you
Please don't leave me this way
I'm guilty now all I have to say

[CHORUS - (LEE)]

If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind) - [ALL]
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my hearts a crime - [ALL]
Then I'm guilty

[OUTRO]
What am I supposed to do [Duncan]
Then I'm guilty [Lee]
All I wanna do is speak my mind [All]
Gulity [Lee]
Then I'm guilty [Lee]
I'm prepared to testify [Duncan]
If it's wrong to do what's right then tell me about this feeling inside [Lee]
If loving you with all my hearts a crime [All]
I'm Guilty [Duncan]


Man.... I downloaded this song a couple of days back and really listen and checked out the lyrics. It's so perfect... I do love her, it seems to tell the whole story. Wish she just knew how much I was thinking about her each other. Wish she would read this in silence. For once I wished she cried, cried for me, tell me she loves me ( if she does, and I hope so ). I don't know... I feel so emotionally weak right now. Would someone just come right up to me and heal my wounds...
I'm on the verge of a break-down, I'm just so tired... Had combined choir practice just now. Thought I sounded really bad, I tried concentrating on singing but my focus wasn't there. I was just too tired, could be cause I had a long day... but I've survived long days without feeling that way... Why am I feeling so lethargic, I need energy... So... Tired. Oh, to add to that, the damn stupid TENOR guy thinks his singing is damn good or something. Talk to him purposely ignore me... b*stard, I got nothing to say. The people from my confirmation class who dislike/backstab me were there too. Dammit, I'm considering of stepping out for the singing for combined choir during Christmas Midnight Mass. Am so sick of looking at these bitches who think they're so perfect, YEAH!!! Tone deaf bitch... Why can't someone just tell her she can't sing instead of being so nice! Thats not being a true friend... She's just spoiling the mood of everyone whose singing in her section and I can hear her really off notes. Damn de other bitch who pretends and continues like nothing's a problem. They're partly a reason why I wanna step out of the combined choir, but I packed myself too many things this Christmas already, no wonder Alvin told us not to pack our Christmas and try to find out the true meaning of it instead... How come I dint remember his advice. Lord give me the strength to survive this Christmas and to inspire people through my singing(choir's singing)... Really hope everything will be fine at the end of the day and the rainbow appears after the dark stormy clouds are gone...
*Sigh*... I dont know man.. SOOOOOOOO tired... hmmm, I need a really good rest this weekend. I don't think anything's gonna slow down for me. Got CCA(s) everyday, gotta catch up with my homework(complete it)... Okies.. I'm gonna sleep soon if my friend doesn't SMS me. Nites Peeps~

Grrr... Now I'm feeling pissed. So irritated by some people, show me attitude only. Just now chat with Joanna and she was like, What?, Ya?, Okay. Damn friggin' hostile towards me... then i asked her whats her problem, she says I got lots of problems. It's like she say I always say she act cute, dont know I joking? Den yesterday we were chatting and she kept "?"-ing and I told her to stop it, and just now she told me she "?" also cannot... Pissfying man!!! What the hell sia... Now I'm beginning to wonder why she find people irritating and starts talking behind their backs... I bet she gonna start talking about me to someone, she keeps talking bad about other people. I'm wondering who has the real problem, the people she's pissed with or she herself. She gets irritated over the kid-iest of little matters... people joke with her she gets pissed. Whats her problem? *GEESH* I'm trying to stay calm and not thinking of things I'm gonna do that's going to be irrational. GRR....
And she has to add to all my worries and pressure already... my temper's gotten bad like when it used to again. My fuse is getting short...
Haiz... I really wish she was with me, by my side.. *sigh*, I really can't stop thinking about her,I wish I could... I just realised that out of the 95% of girls I liked after breaking up with her, they have a similar resemblance to her one way or another. It's like either they're from band or they're not that tall compared to me... I used to kinda tease her about being short.. *Sigh*, but that's what thing I love about her.. AHHHH! Somebody help me... take away this pain and pressure from me. I got so many things to think about... Her,School,This project I'm supposed to present in 2days time, CCAs,church... just too many things to take up on my own.

Hey people.. countdown till the end of this attachment. 2more days left before I never touch this office again!Yeah yeah!
Geesh, ya know... I've been sleeping the whole day again. It's not as though I've not enough sleep or anything... I dont know why I keep sleeping. Am I too depressed over her that I feel so drained out and all? I just woke up cause of a phonecall in the office... But damn.. I had a dream of her again, it's just too little to know what the dream's about. *Sigh*... A question that keeps running through my mind is what if she goes back to that guy. They have so many opportunities to see other, CCA,school... every single one to patch. How about me? Even if I wanted her more than anything thing else the world could offer... It wouldn't be easy. I'm staying at the other end of Singapore, She's in Ang Mo Kio, I'm in Bedok... Our schools are even furthur... She's in ACJC, I'm in TPJC. Are we not meant to be? I really dont know... *Sigh*.I guess that's all I have to say right now... but this is getting infuriating as each day passes...

-Things are just gonna get worse with each passing day... when will I ever hold your hands again?-

Yo Peepz!~ *sigh* Last week of work... have been sleeping the whole day at work, played mahjong with some of the choir peeps yesterday until 4am. So now you know why I have been sleeping the whole day? haha...
Hmmm... now now, why did I sigh? Its just weird what human nature does to you, how your curiousity brings you one step furthur to getting more depressed in life. I was looking for Benjamin on friendster ( my ex's other ex )... hope that doesn't confuse you anyway. Took me pretty fast to find him, and when I checked out his profile, I saw her in one of his pic. Dammit.. I can't stand it, I'm trying all my best to forget her.. But I just have nothing to forget her. Yes I can forget about her and sing all day in church,at the end of the day,I'd just have some time to think about her again. Someone tell me why I can't forget her... I really want to,it hurts too much,I can't take this no more... I really miss her so much, what should I do, I don't know what anymore, I've tried to hard yet I failed time and again... Are we not meant to be? Or is it just some trials I have to get true.. A test set by GOD? I dont know, but I really have no idea what I should about her in life anymore. I've stopped messaging her already, but it isn't helping... It's getting worse... Please help me.. someone. All I can do right now is just to pray, but whose gonna lend me his/her shoulder when I really need it...
That's all guys... I'm just feeling very down right now, I'll try to post something brighter the next time I blog ya? Tata.. *sigh*

My my... christmas is coming very soon eh! hehe.. Oh!!! Lynda's in Singapore already!!! My "sister", I've known her for like many years already, I waited for her at the airport from 945 till 1030 yesterday cause she said her plane will be arriving at 9+!!! and the flight was delayed... grrr and the stupid tv thing dint show any delayed flights! Damn! I wanted to pick her up... oh well, I guess I'll only be seeing tomorrow after mass but it won't be long I guess, cause she's going out if I'm not wrong.
Ooo,the tuition peeps during my o level's are gonna visit mr.thong tonight... wonder whats the occasion, oh well... I should be rushing straight down from here to his place today and all of them will be waiting for me, so nice.. haha!
Oh, and finally this attachment is getting a bit more interesting for me. Its cause I got more stuff to do. This china guy doesn't really know how to work with powerpoint(which I dont think so... haha), yeah anyways.. been helping him out with certain stuff and information he needed. So it's been much better, but when I've done all that I needed to help him with, I'll be dead bored. -_-... yeah sobx sobx. 1more week of attachment left! WOOOHOOO!
Okay, choir people officially finish their camp today. Wonder if they had fun.. hope they did. Haha... hmmms. Went swimming yesterday and I think I did fairly okay, need lots more training! But missed out so much kayaking, I'm like so dead when training comes. That's all peepz!!! Tata~. (Nice lunch I just had.. =])

Hey people!!! wonder how long it's been since I last blogged, not that long anyway.. haha! Oh well, I sound cheerful don't I? But I ain't really that cheerful. Basically my ex has decided not to get into a relationship at the moment or so she says? I will never show, and the other guy's pestering her and saying the same stuff I'm saying? Now that's weird... Oh well, I've decided to stop messaging her for the time being or really sms her once a week or something. Yeah, I guess I'll leave things as they are and really let life take its course. It breaks my heart when I think about it, but when I don't... perhaps I feel happy. I'm just wondering if I should find someone new... she's broken my heart so many times although I was the one who broke up with her. She went with another guy to forget me, in the process to fill that "empty void" I tried going after girls I din't really like and got myself hurt even more. It just seems I'm torturing and hurting myself as each day passes by. I've told her how I felt, but she just wants to remains as friend. Guess there's nothing I can do, but I've said I will wait for her... But she said she doesn't love me, and I might not get the end I want in the process of waiting... so to wait or not to wait? You know.. I found the 400-500+ stars I made for her in a span of less than 2weeks during February when I wanted to get her back, but it was too late so I dint continue. Now, they're just collecting dust at home... I dont know what to do no more... *sigh*
On the brighter side of life, I think I'm officially the Bass Section Leader for my church choir (genesis2)! Yeah, I'm very happy! Yeah yeah... I can continue serving the church community and the choir itself but there comes great responsibility with the position but I won't know till I try... Just got to learn how to sort my time real soon.
Oh yeah... I haven't started praciticing for my 2nd swimming trials which I dont know when it will be since it clashes with my attachment programme. But yeah, it clashed with all my ccas and its hindering from all my training(except bowling I guess) ... next week is the last week though! Yeah Yeah! But... I got a poster project to hand in and present :'( *sobx* In the mean time, I have like nothing to do at office so I sleep most of the time, but it's really so uncomfortable... I don't know what to present for the project... GEESH! I really need help...
Hmmms,I'm sure I got lots to say but I just can't think of it. Oh yeah, this week's the 1st week of advent or the last sunday was the 1st Sunday! Yeah, The candle of HOPE was lit, so I guess I should hope for things in life? I'm not sure either... but hope supposed to exists somewhere I can't see. Hope the Lord shows me the way. Next Sunday, the candle that represents peace will be lit! Yeap! Okies.. that's all people. Hope you have a good time during the week.

Hey Hey! It's the weekend already so faaaasstttt.... and I'm still thinking about her. But I'm learning to take my time, slow and steady wins de race yah? haha...
Okies, tomorrow is a full day of singing again. Have wedding to sing for in the morning, after that we have bass sectionals, den practice for evening mass and after mass a prayer session. Wooo, so basically I'll be out the whole day tomorrow.. no chance to use the computer eh? Haha..
Oh yeah, I had a talk with one of the guys in charge today about my attachment being very dull and what I expected it not to be. So he gave a rather long talk over everything and he told me to keep an open mind. Hmmmzzz... oh well, I guess I'll try to take his advice! So right now, next monday, I'll try working on the project that's due in 2weeks time that needs to be presented. ( Geesh! Like Project Work!!! ) haha... Okies, that's all for today I guess.. Oh one last thing, I got a haircut! Finally!!!

Hey! Long time never update.. have been busy with my attachment programme,or i should i say not busy. I signed up for some attachment with local research institutes under some MOE thingy and i got it. So we're supposed to conduct research but what do I get?!?! I sit down everyday in front of the computer not doing anything. I'm supposed to update their books, I've finished my part of the job. I really this ends quickly... I cant take it anymore.

I thought I had forgotten her, but I still love her. It's been more than 1year that I left my ex. But I've been given a sign or something... I just dont understand. I woke up one day after having a dream about her... that she has always been in my heart. Just a hidden fact. I've tried getting her back once but she rejected, now when I have my chance... I'm screwing it up. I dont know, I really wanna let her have all the time and tell me when she's ready... But I'm pushing her and myself too fast.. I cant control these emotions that are so strong that live for her. But right now, I can only remind myself that we have to go slow.. at least me. And what she wants right now is to start from friends.. I don't know whether she will be my christmas dream this year, but i really hope so. That's all I want in my life, I have regretted too much, lied too myself, had too many infatuations. My straight-forwardness has just been causing me to hurt myself time and again this year... I just hope things can go back to what they were in the past. With her.... Bowling well... studying well... I think it's just her...

Wooo... Slept till 6pm today since I have been talking to someone on the phone until 2am for the past four nights. But was also very sleepy since I had a long day, had training.. went out then went for church! Sang sang sang! I love singing... yeah.. hehe! So i reached home around 11pm. Oh yeah, I ate this japanese ramen yesterday "Super Spicy Ramen", I could take the taste but my stomach couldn't so I had to go to the toilet for like half hour :S but felt better after that.

So today, ate my mum's cooking "Soto Ayam", some indonesian recipe she has anyway. It was okay.. and the release of episode 117 of the one piece anime was released finally after a long period of waiting. So i downloaded it went to sleep and watched it after that. Was quite okay, as usual these shows leave u suspense at the end so I'll have to wait till the next episode to find out what happens. Tomorrow's Hari Raya Puasa, wanted to bowl but the rates too expensive. But I might be going for a mass for all church choirs in Singapore celebrated by the Arch-Bishop, I wonder how the singing would sound tomorrow.. hmmm. Okay. That's all for today. :D

Hello! Long time no blog.. haha, just remembered I had a blog but dont know why I'm blogging... super bored I guess... so sad sylvester dint get kicked out of Singapore Idol.
Anyways, went bowling this morning, met 2 of my bowling-mates to bowl! But hit an average of 150 over 5games, not going to win anything with this kinda score. Just hope that once my self-training intensifies and I try hard I can beat TemasekJC at least. I'm not gonna allow them to win anything.
After that went to eat at long john silver's at tampines and chatted with da peeps. Yeah, den i had to rush home and go off to CMPB(central manpower base) which was like at redhill!?!?! Just to defer my army enlistment cause I missed the online exercise... and I went there to click the mouse a couple of times!?! What a waste of time, oh wells... after that nap nap den watch tv n ate dinner.
Okay, that's it, tomorrow still got training... DragonBoat... but got running! FUN! so long.