Spruyt Darren Stephen

2007-10-18T23:24:00.000+08:00

I remember how nothing seemed to worry us when we were young. All we had to do.. was just play, have fun and never be bothered by any matters of the heart. Nowadays,as you grow older, it seems too much to take, all these feelings twirling and swirling. Man, I had this feeling.. like so blardy moody. God knows why I feel this way...if everything could just stop being this way.. I wanna be happy.. I just wanna be happy and contented with everything. :(

I dont know if my legs getting better or it's the same now... zzz. This sucks. I wanna get well.. I wanna start running and swimming. I wanna be fit. I wanna feel good.. Man, I need to workout alot more..

I dont know what to do with my life.. Just hope I can move out of here and start somewhere new..

2007-10-14T01:31:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. just chatted with one of my juniors. I can't help it.. everytime I just keep looking back. What if.. all the "What if I went here,did this etc. etc."

Firstly, what if I never dropped Higher Chinese.. I would have gotten to TJC, I'd most probably have gotten better grades,get a scholarship, go overseas, come back and have job stability.

So I went to TPJC and I had a what if... sigh. it should have never happened, i should have studied the last bit for my chemistry. it's over though. :S I got a C for chem. It seriously sucks, sigh... think I disappointed my tutor even more.

But to really look on the bright side, I'm doing a course which I'll definitely be interested in. But.. I really wanna go to London. Should I just apply to Imperial first? I really dont know.. someone, give me advice please.. :S

2007-10-13T20:15:00.000+08:00

My leg hurts like crap.. I realli hope it's just a strain/sprain just as the doctor said.. :(
I dont wanna go into operation again.. but this time it's the hamstring tt hurts.. I need an MRI scan or something.. dear lord.. please please.

2007-09-28T15:07:00.001+08:00

This sucks.
Zzz... I dont even know what to talk about on this blog.. haha. Anyways, cos of the damn army, I tore my ligament.. why?

I joined rugby earlier this year.. and some asshole step on my leg but it was nothing then as I went to SGH A&E and the doctor said it was nothing but just a sprained.. even my camp Medical Officer(MO) examined my leg and said there was nothing wrong. I was forced into marching for SAF day and NDP which of course I so not regret doing cause I dont need to see my boss' lousy face. Anyways.. somewhere between marching training and 1 Armour Road Relay Training I tore my damn ligament.. so after NDP I went for my operation.. and I'm officially on MC till 31Oct.. which means just in time for my ORD which I'm so damn bloody happy for. I really regret being an officer. Anyone reading this post,and if u're in god damn OCS, please think a trillion times before you wanna become an officer. I seriously regret it.

S O L T I T U D E... bloody hell. I feel so lonely and left in a corner of my own. I know people block me on msn and all.. it's just.. I dont know.. haha. I just wanna chat with someone and people ignore me.. :( Sigh...

Anyways.. ZoukOut's coming and I can't wait for it.. Armin Van Buuren's coming to Singapore, I really do hope I can get a picture with him.. oOo.. and of course his autograph. Ah wells... I dont really have much to chat about. Zzz :(

2006-06-18T17:50:00.000+08:00

hey, think this will jus be a short entry.. i dont know. just amazing the sequence of events in my army life.
first from Jaguar(BMT) to Tango(OCS)..
and now to my first choice vocation... ARMOURED INFANTRY! it might be a livin' hell or not... but I know that 6more months down the road, I'll be standing there proudly in the parade square.

Yeah, after breaking up.. Depression's bound to set in.. but for the past few days I wasn't that depressed.. maybe I wasn't at all. guess it's jus cause i'm too busy being the CWC(cadet wing commander) of Tango Wing. - jus to digress... it's like the toughest shit job you'll ever get.. planning and answering to every single persons' question. it's hard tryin to please everyone(majority at least), I guess what Cpt. Richard said is so true, I'm bound to make people unhappy as a CWC.
-> ah wells, back to the issue... break-up > depression > life sucks?...
haha, I hope that doesn't happen, I'm trying to escape depression face eh.. I'm sure there's so much to look forward to in life. Yeah, but I guess right now I just wanna make myself get hurt so badly I'll grow immune to it. Make myself think of all the possibilities to why things ended up the way it is now, at least I feel there's 1 that can hurt me so much... which effectively does. Hmmms, hurt I must... I don't have a choice. Hopefully I can get over her like so quickly man. I've learnt that you can't respect a girl too much or maybe even anyone... perhaps it jus applies to relationships.. at least now I know... putting in a 110% effort is not tantamount to producing results. *ponders*

-What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
->this quote was what LTA Poh told me, and it's so damn bloody true. which is why I'm trying to hurt myself as much as possible, knowing I'll grow out of that shell one day and become a stronger person. perhaps to not be so emotionally affected by those around me

Here's to my future life and the rest of the 6month course! I'm so gonna stay positive throughout, not gonna care who backstabs/badmouths me. I swear I'll become stronger, to make myself feel so proud... so God damn proud. Like I'm on top of the world. Make I learn to accept the unhappy past but never forgetting them. Press On! God has a bigger plan for me at the end of the day!

2006-06-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

i feel like breaking and crying right now.. it's been so long since i last blogged eh. haha, i've met the most wonderful girl in march.. and now, *sigh*.. i dont even have the strength to type anymore, no will to go on in life. someone please help me...
is it cause of the army? that i've got no time for her... or is it cause she's grown feelings for some other guy?(which i fear but dont believe so..)
i feel so pathetic... for once, i've respected a girl so much and yet.. i couldn't hold out and assure her
ARGH
my mind's s o scrambled
so screwed up..
i dont know what to do anymore... when all you can say is sorry and u've lost all feelings for me..
*starts crying*
haiz
why is this happening to me???? WHY?!?!
do i just move on in life thinking nothing has happened
till the day i see your face and i'd be dumbstruck
depressed
i duno myself anymore..
life's so screwed up...

2006-01-02T09:18:00.000+08:00

New Year's here! bet everyone's just damn bloody excited, but I'm like.. crap, it's finally next here.. haha. that just means I'm going army,REALLY SOON!. Like on the 6th and today's already the 1st.. oh man. :S
Okies, so went to Edmond's place both on Friday and Saturday. When over to his place after tennis on friday.. I dint play that much since Greg was like.. shooting I dont know what the whole time.. haha. Yeah, so I think we were picking balls... at least I was. Then we went over to his place to makan and just talk.. haha. Watched "The Longest Yard" not bad, quite funny.. but I've seen funnier Adam Sandler movies. haha...
Yeah, so we had the New Year's party at Edmond's, nothing much to talk about, we just ate like a hell load of food, went swimming, celebrated Rissa's birthday, watched movies and the rest played pool and all.. Hmmm.. some of the peeps were secretly drinking in Ed's room.. haha, and they were drunk. haha.. Darren was calling Nicholas Muthusamy and Nic's just really really funny when he's drunk.. he just goes on laughing and laughing for no reason like a bloody hyena. Yeah, den I went to drink and I got fucking high again.. hmmm, maybe more drunk than the last time I was depressed.. not sure, cause I puked a whole lot more(could it due to more food I ate?)... dint feel really good. haha, maybe I shouldn't have gotten so high in front of the younger ones. so Mel found out.. and he sent us a message to a few of us kinda reprimanding us.. hmmms... think that's about it la. went for Macs breakfast this morning.. yum yum hotcakes.. damn, I'm like bloody fat already la.. haha, how to lose all these excess weight in 5days? :P ah wells..
Oh yeah, went to Orchard after singing for the wedding mass in the morning yesterday and bought 1pair of jeans and 1pair of shoes... FINALLY found a not bad looking pair of adidas climacool shoes, climacool shoes are just the best.. dry up really fast. Yeah, it's really hard to describe.. white.. with black? hmm. wanted the blue one actually, much nicer but they dint have my size anymore.. but this is the same model just diff color.. so just buy lor! lol.. sad to say it only had a 10% discount and the jeans 0% discount. still need to buy some stuff before going into the army.. CHIONG AH!

2005-12-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

:-( I hate this feeling, it seems to always happen to me. I dint want you to know this time, but was I that obvious? *sigh* I really dont know what to do.. it's like losing a friend.. and geesh. I'm just too baffled for any words right now. Someone tell me what to do.. It's finally I decide to settle down... after so long. And this happens, I guess I'll just wait and see. Time will reveal itself. *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*... You're part of the reason as to why I came back.. and right now, I'm gonna leave again cause of the army. Just really wanna know you.. but.. okies. Never mind..

Might be clubbin tonight, although I really really really do not want to go. But I owe Derrick a favour and he's been my bro since sec2.. and ah wells.. I guess I'll just accompany him but I think I'll just be sitting around or something. No drinks, no dancing.. it aint my life no more. Clubbing's a facade that has faded away. The people are so fake, about 90% of those I've met are anyways. They lie to you to get what they want.. they make use of you... so, it's definitely not for me. Ah wells, at least I found out... though through the hard way..

Okies so I slacked the whole of yesterday, just went to Parkway to buy clothes from TopMan... bought 2tops, that's about it, forgot to buy my handphone batteries.. grr... Called Brenda and the rest.. all dint wanna meet up for dinner, though they watched King Kong. I was just too lazy to meet up with them.
Anyways, went to jog 5km today.. I'm really exhausted.. haha. I couldnt even run.. think I forgot to warm up one part of my body and oh man.. it just hurt real bad joggin.. but I think I walked quite a bit.. but jogged more definitely, should be jogging everyday since I'm enlisting next friday.. (sigh.. 8more days and some things just happen) Okies.... den did some push ups and pull ups.. after that, I couldnt even walk up the stairs...grr.. haha. Okies, that's all for today's entry, not much though.

Hopefully the New Year's Eve party goes all well..

2005-12-29T05:34:00.000+08:00

Wow.. christmas just passed like that.. okies, time just passed like that. I haven't updated my blog for almost a week, and it doesn't feel like a week. Not really enjoying this feeling of time passing by so quickly, 9days left to my enlistment. Dont miss me so much people... :S
Okies, so usual.. sang for christmas mass, but this year I felt that christmas wasn't that special for some reason. the choir, the crowd? I think it was just everything... I tried making it really special but just couldn't get the feeling.. wore my SYF suit.. so nice. :) okies, so after mass the usual stuff.. go round hugging and wishing people yeah? lol, godma gave me a nice adidas shirt! :P okies, other than that, dint have any presents this year.. haha, but I dont really care la. After that, went to Nicole's place... and we just slacked around, ate and played really stupid games.. haha, oh and we watched "the maid".. it was so not scary la... haha(wonder who told me it was...), Anyhow, I was like just laughing my ass off the whole movie cause it was really funny.. keke. Okies so.. after the movie, we did some slacking around while the rest went to play soccer. but after awhile, it started to rain so they couldn't play anymore.. haha. so they played some guessing game.. you had to make a headband and one person would write a characther on a piece of paper and pass it to the person on the right. that person then has to guess what's the chracther he has(of course, the paper's placed on the headband made out of paper)by asking questions to everyone.. it's yes or no questions only. So after that it was already about 7am!?! really really quick.. it's madness. yeaps, so everyone went home.. Elden fetched me and he did some really stupid things.. haha, thank god nothing happened to me eh.. I dint fasten my seatbelt.. grr. okies, so I just went home and snoozed through.

Until 6pm, I woke up... went to my mum's place for christmas party as usual every year.. the food was really good.. ate quite a bit and drank quite a bit.. they asked me to so ah wells... dint wanna drink this year, don't know why.. okies, so I stayed around till 10pm, the crowd this year was just lesser and so much quieter... see what I told you about christmas this year... really DULL! okies, so after that I went to Derrick's house for christmas party and the food wasn't really that great... :-#, don't know why.. maybe it dint suit my taste, but there was just sooooo much food and drinks. There were these 2idiots at the party, one of which was my old confirmation mates.. oh man. idiots, one of them was just happily mixing drinks like anyhow with really disgusting tastes(he mixed gin with vodka and beer and that glucose powder?) and the other idiot was drinkin those drinks.. guess what? He got drunk.. oh man, did he give a bad time to the people around there by just puking all over the place... and the dog was cleaning it up.. haha, disgusting dog. So after really puking alot, that guy said "I want to sleep on the grass" and his 2friends brought him to the grass and he slept till the next morning and just disappeared when me and Derrick woke up.. haha. Yeah, that was the only fun thing I experienced there cause I was like just chatting online and watching tv the whole time. Oh yeah, Clara n Derrick argued.. but I guess they're ok now, but their relationships not for me to interfere yeah? =)

So I woke up around 7am? slept for about 2hours only so far.. Rushed home, bathed and changed my clothes and went to century square to watch Narnia.. really nice movie. although it was from a children's book, I guess the story was really really cool.. haha, you just got to watch it to know it. The tickets cost 6bucks instead of the usual 9.50 cause the church subsidised us.. so cool right.. hehe, yeah and after that we had a sharing in the theatre itself. Alvin was telling us how the movie was so related to christ's live, like how he was stripped of his garments while the lion got shaved. it's just tons of similarities.. and I was simply amazed to how true it was, someone told me the author's a catholic so that could be the main reason why there were just so many distinct similarities. Okies, so after that.. went home.. I think we ate first.. oh at Long John's.. I ordered the cajun chicken, not bad.. just abit too salty. Yup, went home after that and slept... woke up around 5 or so and had to go to Jon Chia's house for a christmas party which G2 had to carol and have a sing-a-long session with the parents. :P yeah, I thought a couple of the basses a really cool method of singing which Nelson taught me. was effective anyways.. for them to use their diaphragms. Okies, so my mama fetched me there after I topped up my ez-link card. the food was really good, the singing was not bad.. but we were just squished up. after the sing-a-long ended.. it was already about 10pm and all the parents just left the place while the rest of us stayed behind. but when we started playing our games, they said we had to pack up and leave... I guess most of us were disheartened cause we were expecting to have a stayover there cause that's usually happens at the Chias during parties.. but ah wells. Thank the Chias for opening up their house for us anyways.

Okies,so yesterday.. there were plans for tennis but the rain just spoilt it all. so the guys decided to meet up at parkway parade for tea.. hehe, but ended up eating MOS burger.. wonder that's considered tea. ah wells.. okies.. so after that we just spent the time walking around dont know doing wat beside looking at clothes and flowers.. yups. then we called up tons of G2 peeps to meet at Gelare cafe at 8pm.. and greg had to say 8+.. haha, so it was really usual or at least a habit for G2 to be late.. so 8plus.. most of them just turned up around 8:30 or 9? I can't remember.. went opposite to eat at beer garden. Oh man, there's this new claypot rice stall there.. the claypot's really really good.. but it cost 5bucks!?! can you believe it, but I ordered it.. so could try. It's really nice but just too costly. yeah after that, we just sat down and slacked around.. I can't even remember what happened between.. we just went to Darren Leong's place and played games.. haha, card games.. and some of them learnt mahjong.. haha, really funny. after that, we just watched stupid shows on TV.. I mean really stupid.. ok, we were watching street fighter.. Nicholas and his stupid ideas.. grr. haha, after that, we went to makan! and there were just 6of us left, but 2 of them dint eat and went home.. yeah, so went home sleep sleep.. and here I am right now! and I have yet to exercise.. haven't done it in quite a number of days... =( I'm beginning to grow fat.. sobx! Okies, maybe I shall do some today but the weather's just spoiling everything.. grr,ah wells.. hope it doesn't rain so I can exercise... hopefully the guys are meeting up today or something.

*I just dont want you to feel weird around me,I feel the same way too*

2005-12-24T03:49:00.000+08:00

Yo peeps~ okies...
erm.. went gym on tuesday as usual.. haha.. after that just slacked my whole day till about 5plus? went to church for choir.. yeaps! guess I'll be back for now, not sure about next year.. most probably. anyways, taught all the basses that were there how to sing, what Sam taught me.. so pass it down yeah? so each and everyone of them has their own personal things to correct but I guess it'll take time, okies.. so we had practice and I got to say.. the basses sounded quite good.. just hope some of the newer ones will be confident enough to just stick out and make mistakes.. that's how we all learn yeah? keke...

Okies, yesterday just slept all the way till the afternoon.. haha... after that went jogging.. I planned to run 5km, but I dint know the exact distance of running around my whole estate.. only checked after my run and much to my dismay, I ran 3.6km which is like short 4rounds around the track? but ah wells.. at least now I know the route for 5km. Oh oh... den went swimming after that, swam 20laps.. yups. It was freezing cold when I entered the pool cause it was still drizzling.. but after I started swimming it wasn't cold already..
Rushed off to Macs to buy dinner for my grandmother and back home.. was really late for choir as I had this really bad tummyache.. think my abs took to much action for the day.. cause it hurt like hell this morning.. haha. so yups, Darren Leong's mum was supposed to fetch us to church but I called him and said I had a really terrible tummy so I reach around 8:30 or so? lol... but yeah just sang. The songs for midnight mass are about the same? only like 1 or 2 new things I have to learn.. but thank god I joined choir so I could sight read! (phew!) Yups yups.. Anyways, the songs are quite easy to learn so yeah.. short songs.. or at least it's kinda repititive.. okies, had dinner.. and went to leong's place to play bridge for the 2nd night in a row.. left his place at 3am and walked home.. haha really really tired...

So I woke up around 9am this morning? slept again.. woke up, sleep.. until 3pm? den just chatted on msn until like 5+? met Herng Yih to buy my xmas t-shirt so I can go visiting in it.. it's from a shop called "newbie" in Marina Square. the clothes quite cheap and cute.. keke. oh, he fell off the bike a 2nd time(what a loser right? haha) so he's on leave from lifeguard duty again.. his wounds are infected and really gross.. wahaha.. okies shall spare u the details.
Anyways, brought him to Carl's Jr to check out the size of the burgers.. it's just really BIG.. bet one burger would fill all your stomachs. Okies.. so just went home and here I am.. but the journey home wasn't all that peaceful.. had these 2irritating filipino kids who kept singing or just saying some nonsense over and over again.. at first it was cute, but after that it just got really irritating.. but I tried to sleep.. so dint really care. haha.. okies, tomorrow's the big day! sing sing! gonna stay over at nicole's place tomorrow night.. yuppersss..
Shall wear my SYF suit for mass.. just need to borrow a silver tie from Chin Soon since I melted mine the day of concert.. haha.

Okies,that's all for today! nights!

*falling in love with your eyes...*

2005-12-21T01:46:00.000+08:00

Okies, it almost once week since I last blogged. sorry for the wait whoever reads this blog. - 17days still my enlistment.. :S

Friday - slacked the whole day and it was so sore from gym the day before, I couldn't straighten my arms cause it was really sore.. haha,but yeah.. at least know that I did what I wanted to(more than actually).After which, I just did nothing at home but tried to call people to go clubbing at attica, but nobody wanted so argh heck it. was really getting cheesed off.. you know? always asking people out and they dont wanna go where you want to go anyways. yeah, a group of them wanted to go to cocco latte and that place has given me a very lousy impression so yeah.. dint wanna go there. So in the end, I ended up at DXO, Eunice had some vip entries or something which could bring people in for free. Initially, there was some performance due to their opening of god knows what... So we went in late cause we had to wait for Kimberly. but ah wells, so I only caught this group of guys breakdancing... initially it was really exciting but after awhile it just got pretty dull as they were just performing the same moves over and over again(swear I could have slept if they went any longer!)Okies, so after that the dance floor was open... and I got to say, the poly people that were clubbing there were just soooo not enthusiastic? After about an hour or so of dancing, everyone just started leaving the dance floor.. soon enough, the DJ was playing his music, but there wasn't anyone dancing.. what a crowd!?! seriously.. geesh. Okies, so after that, the guys decided to go to cocco latte and I was like "what the heck?! just go.."(since a couple of them had VIP passes so they could sign us in for free), Eunice and Kim went home after the DXO thingy. Yups, the crowd at cocco latte was sooo much better than the DXO one. Stupid Alan tried pushing me to this girl.. haha, but when I saw her face, was really scary cause she resembled someone so I just couldnt dance with her right? :)
After that,the whole group of us just sat down at Simpang Bedok and just ate and talked loadsa crap.. always happens when Alex is around anyway.. haha. After that I just walked home.. took about 30mins.. and snoozed through.. haha.

Saturday - slacked as usual after which just went to church for mass. After mass, called Darren Leong.. asked him where he was... so me n Nick just sat down and talked to Darren for a really long time, after that we decided to just go to choir(at least I persuaded Nick to anyways.. haha).. So we went in G2 was just singing one of the christmas carols we have been singing for years.. and when we joined along, Duane went "Basses, tone down." haha.. I was like.. Wooh, not bad.. we're still quite power. Yeah, but the choir attendance was really terrible... I think my toes and fingers could count the number of people present that night. Went for prayer meet after that,they were screening this cartoon of some goat that felt useless... and the camel told them a story of some crippled lamb that felt useless and God forgotten him. So what happened? God did give him a place on this planet, that was to provide warmth for Jesus when he was born while the whole flock was at the new pasture feeding on the grass.
After which we had a sharing session(usual usual), okies.. so what did I learn? we had to identify our "crippled-nesses" in life.. and God will always bless us with more "crippled-nesses" as we move on in life.. the purposes of these is to help us play a part in one way or another..(God's plan. =D). No matter how demoralising our "crippled-nesses" are.. just remember, you will find the reason why God gave them to you. Just so much, could be a physical or a mental one.. so yup. be happy to blessed with them, despite not knowing what they are for, you would find out... Alvin told us he has been wearing specs since he was 8 I believe? and he found the purpose of it only more than 10years later... some razor flew into his face while he was working and it hit his specs and it just flew away.. cool eh? so that was the plan for his "crippled-ness", of course there are other stuff. but it was a sharing.. so I aint supposed to tell people.. keke! After that just had dinner with some of G2 den went home since I had a really bad tummyache.. heh. Snoozed as usual.. zZzz.

Sunday - wanted to go to the gym, but my mother was pms-ing as usual.. complaining and nagging about everything under the sun. She actually started screaming like some mental patient at one instance cause she was so stressed.. crazy one.. haha. Okies, so I just stayed at home till evening and went to the Esplanade and watched the Estonian Choir... haha, they were really good, but I just could not be impressed as more than half the time, they were just dancing? Yeah, so I couldn't really appreciate their singing since I dint have the chance too.. anyways, they're like some Hi-5 gang from Estonia, some company called the eTv(Estonian Television) sponsors them and they have their own series.. so ya, dancing and singing? sounds like Hi-5 right? haha.. yeah after that, met Darren Leong and some of the G2 people,watched them play bluff and bridge.. after that,we went to Marcus' house. Initially I was watching soccer/wrestling but got so bored of both.. haha. and the comp kept hanging so Darryl couldn't play DOTA with Marcus' brother.. Darryl then started played the electrical drums and the others play bridge, so I just used the comp and chatted on MSN.. haha. nothing better to do. went home around 1+ - 2am? yeahs...

Monday - did nothing except gym in the morning, oh oh... after that, went to market to take my instant passport photo and then to the post office to send a mail of documents containing my photocopied testimonials and whatever certificates I achieved that were important. What were they for? I decided to apply for the DSTA scholarship, so I sent in my resume via the internet on Sunday? I had to type an essay of 400words in 20mins, not that easy since you only had a few topics to choose from... so I chose one that asked me to state a talent/personal quality I had and how it'd help in the peace and progress of Singapore. haha.. not easy eh? yeah,procrastinated for a really long time before deciding to apply for the scholarship.. I guess it's better to try than not to. although I had to apply with my prelim results which is really sucky. Ah wells, hope hope... yeap. If it's successful, I believe I'll have to go for an interview in Jan... woo, that's the scary one.. should I like start reading on tons of engineering and science articles? keke... hope I dont get caught off guard during the interview.. not a very good impression. Guess that's all I did yesterday... dint do much after that...

Shall post more on today later on today or tomorrow.. heh. Anyways, should I go back to G2? I dont know.. ah wells, maybe.. but I think I should be singing for Christmas as usual.. oh, I recieved a mail from G2 yesterday.. so touching. It goes "You've been missed" on the cover.. and inside the "postcard" there were many people who wrote stuff asking me to go back and all.. yeaps. heh, interesting eh.. never see that happen in G2 before.. must have happened during the camp.. :) Okies, that's all for today. :P.. I mean now anyways

2005-12-16T07:32:00.000+08:00

Okies,came back from gym a while back.. did about 2.5hours today, but more intensive.. man, I'm really really sore this time.. haha. need to intake more meat for protein.Hopefully can go swimming, dint go yesterday.. haha. Anyways, I'm just really pissed right now which is why I wanna blog.
You know after 12years of education, I sometimes really wonder what the education system has taught us in Singapore, especially a subject known as SOCIAL STUDIES. we study all and everything under the sun there is to know especially about racial tolerance and having compromise and accomodation to people who are different and all those stuff... etc. etc. remember in primary school we had to learn the cultures and food of other races. Up till today... whenever I chat with people online, the first question I'm faced with whenever stating I'm a eurasian is "so which part of Europe are you from?"... I mean excuse me!?! Did I say I was EUROPEAN? can't people differentiate.. seriously, okay put that aside, are eurasians born in Singapore not SINGAPOREANS? That just simply means I would have grown up in a culture where perhaps singlish is just bred into us and that simply explains I dont "speak" perfect english, or give the impression that I'm european right? Seriously, I just feel the education system should do something.. about the awareness of EURASIANS in Singapore, it really seems we are the most insignificant race, see I'm not subjecting to any form of racism here.. but doesn't it seem that way. It's always people saying, Chinese,Indian,Malay... very rarely or none at all do you even hear the word Eurasian being mentioned. I really hope to strike some awareness into the Singapore society that Eurasians do exists and we are SINGAPOREANS too, also we do not have the need to speak "perfect" english or I should call it "European" english...
I guess that's about it, although sometimes I really feel eurasians are arrogant.. I dont know, it's just the impression that I'm given whenever I do chat with eurasians online.. It's like most of them feel they are superior as though they are "whites".. I seriously think we should be more humble people. I believe that the percentage of eurasians in Singapore is not very little.. but doesn't it seem that as though in the education system itself, as you rise up to higher levels(or supposedly better ones,no insults whatsoever).. you rarely see eurasians. I'm perhaps the only eurasian in TPJC for my batch that is, I believe I have 1junior whose a eurasian.. but otherwise!?! No one...
Guess that's all for now, might blog later.. Anyways..Attica tonight for 20bucks, anyone interested in going call Natasha at 91447161. Attica's age requirement is normally 21 but for once they're lowering it for this party, so it's really a good opportunity to see how good the club is.. otherwise, you'd have to wait like 3years just to see what the club's like.. haha. okies, that's all!

2005-12-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

I want that Armin Van Buuren album Shivers... ahhH!!!

2005-12-15T07:12:00.000+08:00

Heyo Peeps~ dint blog yesterday. heh, too tired I guess.. went out yesterday(kinda). Met Kah Seng at the bedok gymnasium around 1030am? after that we did loadsa exercises and all the machines.. some people really dont have gym etiquette, hogging the machines by leaving their towels and doing other stuff, that's just selfish behaviour. They should be called "bastards", geesh.. anyways. did about half hour of running or so and loads of upper body exercises myself.. Kah Seng ah.. also not sure what he did.. haha, should be going tomorrow if my body doesnt feel that sore(I'm feeling soreness all over my body right now.. nice though. =D )
Okies, so I went home and snoozed till evening arrived and I went to meet my tuition teacher.Finally met Mr.Thong after about a year.. J Oh said he looks really old and stressed up while when I saw him, he didn't look that way. haha, he supposedly looks younger to me but the rest said he looks the same.. I guess maybe cos of the misconception J Oh imprinted on my mind.. yeah! after that went to eat Bak Chor mee at Blk 85, dint really have to wait long... oh, and the woman J Chia pissed off like 2years ago couldn't remember him.. haha, I still remember how she used to shout at us when we went to Blk85. ( We bought drinks from the nearby 7-11 and J Chia actually went to ask that auntie if we could have ice from her stall... haha ),joker la he. ah wells..
Im lazing around as usual today. army's going to be in less than a month already, about 3weeks or so I guess? hope I have enough time to train.. or else I'll just suffer there although everyone's telling me, I'm already physically fit enough but I think otherwise eh? Maybe I shall go swimming or something later,but kinda having a headache right now.. dont know why either, maybe going to fall sick soon. I think my body's very heaty right now cause I've been continously bitting my ownself when I'm chewing my food and lotsa pimples with pus are just popping up! (UCK!) Okies. That's all, shall update if there's anymore interesting things to talk about. =D

2005-12-13T11:40:00.000+08:00

Woo man, I just can't stop thinking about how great Armin is... heh. World #3, what you wanna expect yeah? Ohs, I remember while clubbing.. I was thinking if world peace meant anything, it had to be clubbing.. haha. That sounds stupid but I just have my reasons despite all the stupid flaws everyone presents while clubbing. It's really a sight, just watching people from around the world coming down to watch someone DJ and hear his/her music. It's really astonishing... haha, the english guy I met while dancing there told me this "Armin made me cry with his music" and I just went "Oh...", but ya know what.. I wanted to cry too.. haha! Sounds stupid but his music is just that great.. it just hits you right in the heart or something and makes you wanna forget every worry you've ever had in life. No DJs' gonna do that besides him for now.. Yeah.. hmms,I seem to have so much to say about ZoukOut but I just forget everytime.. ah wells.

Friends friends friends... dont you think it's weird? Its like if you're a true friend, you'd tell the person straight in the face how you feel regarding a certain situation.. but of course you'd just get reprimanded for your sincerity and honesty. But I guess that's part of being a true friend, you just gotta suck it all up and hope for the best for your friend. Nothing much to say also, just.. I'm willing to give up almost anything for my friends, and I hope to find friends like that too one day.. maybe in army eh? (hopefully)
Oh, on the topic on army.. I'm enlisting on the 6th of Jan and it's really too fast for me.. I'd most probably cry cause I haven't had enough time to enjoy.. this holidays has just been screwy for me... Haven't even been going out, even if I had.. I wouldn't consider them as an outing for leisure but rather a stressful one to settle prom night etc.?? Yeah... Gotta start training up, haven't started.. so damn fucking lazy. Someone kick my arse.. haha.

Good news! Mr.Tan told me the TPJC choir has attained 3golds so far in KL and we're the category winners for "Equal Voices" whatever that is.. haha,and they're gonna participate in the Grand Finals tonight! which is in about a few minutes.. it starts at 1945hours.. So envious, I thought I could really enjoy my holidays in Singapore so I forsaked the chance of singing, but looking at all the shit I've been thrown at and what the choir's achieving, I really wish I could just be there... Sigh... Okies
That's all for today. :)

Take care people, please tag my board ya? :D

2005-12-12T01:51:00.000+08:00

Okies, I came back not long ago... the names still ringing in my head baby..
Nick Warren,Armin Van Buuren,Sven Vath...
Fwah! seriously, I was kinda depressed that nobody accompanied me to zoukout.. so thank god although I went alone myself.. I didn't regret. wisest choice ever in my life baby.. haha.. Okies, the music was just splendid,fabulous.. I bet it'd make you dumbfounded.. okies, there's just so many things to describe it right now.. Personally, I felt armin's just the bloody greatest.. you could hear people screaming and shouting "This is fucking good!", there were just tons of caucasians which explains the flagrant swearing.. anyways. It was indeed FUCKING good.. I drank 2cups of alcohol and I almost vomitted.. cause I dint eat the whole day, so I ordered this turkish burger thingy(kebab? that's what the people ordering called it).. Damn Sedap(Shiok!).. but 5bucks, okies.. ah wells, it was humongous,yummy! Okies, back to armin... Carlyn cursed it to rain, guess what... It DID! WOOOO! It just made the party more lively baby, everyone just started jumping to the music and screaming their lungs off like there's no tomorrow or something like that.. man, I just danced with this guy from the UK? Cool dude, haha.. but he had to leave at like 5am cause he had a flight back to tokyo at 8am. Ah wells.. so after that, saw my bro.. think his friends laughing at my dancing.. haha, couldn't be bothered.. Yeah, so after dancing for god knows how many hours it was.. haha, my legs are so sore.. time to give them a good rest. ZoukOut 2005 just rocked completely, nothing to deny it, I wanted to buy the zoukout t-shirt.. but I was too late :'( so they sold me the CREW ZoukOut t-shirt instead.. haha! still satisfied..

Okies, abit on the bad side.. on my way there and during the clubbin itself. Singaporeans really potray themselves to be really shitty people you know? the kind of impression they leave behind.. while queuing up, they just push the hell way through not as though others weren't!?! I still remember this fat girl in blue pushing pushing... uck! so fat la... den kept pushing me, like I can make the crowd go faster!?! stupid. Of course, the caucasians have their own flaws too, when they walk through the crowds while clubbing, they just literally push you to the extent that you could fall, or they wanted to pick a fight... I hope it's just cause of their build and strength compared to asians. Ah wells, it seemed as though they really did want to pick a fight. Okay, here comes the worst part... haha, there were this group of transvestites.. and I mean GROUP! They took up 1 out of the 4podiums and started dancing with their manly faces and fake breasts and short skirts, GOD! nothing could have been more worse than this.. I swear.. haha(brrr... *shivers*) oh, I seriously think they were from thailand.. cause I heard them talking and they had the MAN voice.. oh man, gross right!?! haha... yeah and you could just hear the accent to differentiate them from other people's.. definitely THAI! No criticisms or any sort here, just.. it's like, they're showing their country to be that way? Ah wells...

Just so many wonderful things to say about this whole experience, although it would definitely have been made like ULTIMATE if you had a whole group of friends to go with, ah wells. :) oh oh! 1more thing, I saw Fiona Xie.. you know,her boobs dont look as big as they do on television... wonder why.. hmmms.. lol.. will try to remember what I wanted to put, I can't remember, anyways.. it's the best experience ever man.. DAMN!

About 1week to your return... lalala

2005-12-10T11:10:00.000+08:00

I think I wont go clubbin anymore.. not anytime soon.. it's so fucking boring just to keep finding people to go along wit ya.. zzz. life's boring man.

2005-12-08T13:23:00.000+08:00

Hey hey peeps~ i'm home.. hehe
okies, had a 3day chalet.. nothing much to talk about the chalet also.. I went around 9pm++ on the first night, and had lots of chicken wings.. keke, so there were about 7 of us who were there at the chalet(quite sian right?).. haha, so we just played mahjong until like 4am++, played until I think I gained a dollar from where Junxiang left off.. haha. yeah after that, played some card games.. haha... to prove that Mansfield is just slow, so it was kind of a pointless game since the loser's always him eh? haha...
yeah, so I decided to sleep in the morning while the rest went for breakfast, Huiyi also slept like a pig.. haha. Fang Hao bought macdonalds breakfast for us.. haha, okies.. so after that we went to Escape Theme Park.. I was anticipating it initially since it would be first time..(yeah yeah. slow, I know!) okies, so after that.. we went in and I was like.. -_-''' ...haha, so little rides la, I think we finished the rides after about 2hours, Singapore's theme park's really lousy, and I mean REALLY. can you believe it, every single ride you go to, there's more than half of the seats with the sticker paste "Out of Service", so basically, they have NO SERVICE at the theme park. yups, I think there was nothing much, after which we just went to white sands to get food stuff for the bbq that night, but obviously FH spent so much money which he ended up bringing home, although maybe the 5of us that night finished god knows how many chicken wings eh? haha... and not to mention the nuggets, I think 60? yups, that's how much "surplus" we had. haha. oh,this group of j1 girls wanted to come to our room to watch a movie, but they ended up sleeping in their room.. pity right? lol... ah wells. so that night.. was really sianified. it was left with me,fh,hy and hong kai.. yeaps, we were so bored, so quiet.. not like the night before. the whole 04S24 like so anti-social, the whole bunch of them coming up with stupid reasons to turn down the offer of staying over at the chalet. it's like... Fang Hao never even ask for money or any shit for you all to stay over?! you know how much he spent? it's like really unfair la.. and it's not as though he's the richest one amongst us or anything like that.. really so disappointed with such antisocial and retarded behaviour among the class.. it was probably the last time we would have anything like that anymore(at least for this year!).. after this, a couple of us will be going to the universities, while the rest of us will be serving the nation.. wasn't really memorable despite the fun during the 1st night and 2nd day, guess the 2nd night showed how some people from our class really behave. really stupid excuses.. ah wells... at least Fanghao knows he has good friends like me n huiyi.. haha(I hope!).. okies
Guess that's all I have to blog about for today... :)

Waiting for ur return... missing you but aint sure how to tell ya... so confused..

2005-12-06T06:14:00.000+08:00

okies, shall be blogging abit for today.. going for class chalet later, might swim before that. yeah yeah! hope the chalet's fun though, invited people from other classes' too.. can you imagine the chalet with just your class? abit boring la.. haha.
Anyways,been too busy talking about events that spoilt my mood the last couple of days,I guess I shall talk about my prom eh? haha..
Prom was okay, except I was blocked by the stupid pillar the whole time, so it was more of a HEAR but no SEE kinda event for me.. if I slanted my body, yes I could see but it was really tiring.. hmmms, Daniel Ong was the host and yes.. he was as lame as usual.. luckily I could take his lameness.. haha. Oh! but the muslim food was like okay for the 1st half and really disgusting for the second half.. the fish, vege and rice were just yucky. the rice felt like it was overcooked.. and it was jus cooked with raisins? imagine eating rice with raisins.. kinda weird eh? and i felt that the fish wasn't fresh although my friend said it was, but i still think it aint...

Darren Leong's been msg-ing me and all asking me to go back to choir and sing.. but for what!?! I mean I love singing.. like it's my life, but G2's just another thing. really screwed I would say(if u're from g2 and you're not happy with me saying this,den #1 - too bad, #2 - tell me off right in my face den!). when u're in the committee and all, you can SEE things and you know.. geesh, it just opens your eyes to what people have been viewing it as, it's like another side of the story. okies...

So i'm going to apply for the edusave merit bursary later, but i'm waiting for my mama to come home to pass me her payslip... zzz, so i can't go to the chalet earlier, or go swimming now.. plus it's raining, geesh.. why this kinda weather.. :(. okies, so i guess i'll be bored stiff for about the next hour or so.. den it should be okies. guess tat's all i have to blog for today... for now. :)

Oh oh, one more thing.. if any of you are going to zoukout, please tell me yah? :D

2005-12-05T06:32:00.000+08:00

hey hey, i'm back..
haha... okies.. for those who have my msn and have been wondering wassup with my nick yesterday? you got almost the full story from my blog entry yesterday..
anyways,i cried my ass off while i was drunk... and i think i cried like over an hour plus. you know, it just so hurts me to think about people backstabbing and your "friends" betraying you over a girl?(who wasn't even worth it in the first place), I still remember Anthony telling me a long time ago.. "guys will never quarrel over a gal".. but I guess that's different today from where ever I'm standing and experiencing.
But I guess that hour over worth's of crying did help me in 1way, it help me to put the past behind.. no point brooding anymore. No point, yes I mean it. Your ex-girlfriend(cheryl bock) goes steady with your "good friend"(eugene).. that's still okay, I forgive that, but your "good friend" suddenly ignores you(perhaps being too ashamed too anyways) and somehow he influences everyone closer to him(alvin) than I am and that I know to ignore me too.Hey guess what, you're not going to bring me down.. I dont care about it, I guess that night.. many people assured me and I'm really glad for it,and yes.. whatever I said when I was drunk that night, I still stick to it, I'll never take it back, whatever I said.. I believe I had a sensible mind. so you know what.. believe it. I can tell you everything I said while I was drunk... just that those were secrets I would have never let out.. but guess they all came out..
So now you know why I wanted to get drunk.. hoping to drown my sorrows.. like I heard zhaoting.. haha "this one's drowning his sorrows".. and yes, it dint really work, in the end I still broke down and cried my ass off. But it's all over now. There's still lotsa people out there that I have yet to know.. and I'm going to continue being the lame ass that I was born to be.. haha.
Thanks everyone out there who have believed in me, and those that dont... cause those that dont have just made me trust myself more to strive for the best. :)

Once again, thanks.

2005-12-04T05:04:00.000+08:00

Hangover..

I got drunk like shit last night which was my aim... and it really dint feel good. was really drunk, still am.. and I blardy wasted lots of money.. ah wells, I dont really care.
Thanks to all those who consoled me when I was crying the fuck out like maybe this morning? you know, your emotions are just more easily expressed when you're drunk cause you dont give a shit to what people think.. hahah. Okies, so now the whole world knows my story, and I bet those bastards also know it(I hope they do anyways). Curse their wretched lifes!
But then again, what's the point... haha. NO POINT! just let them have their own regrets.. like losing me as a friend!
Oh one more thing, people can think when they're drunk k? we can't walk straight, we talk rubbish(not all the time like me! :D).. and all those stupid things u think we do, we actually do THINK, it's just extreme behaviour. haha
okies.. I still feel like puking.. but.. I need sleep. and im' not hungry anymore, nobody wans to eat when you're drunk.. :'( haha

would like to give special thanks to Zhaoting,Viknesh,Alan,Fang Hao and whoever that consoled me. can't remember who was there... haha too tired la, tell me if I missed you out..
not that anyone reads this blog anyway.. okies that's it

2005-12-02T14:09:00.000+08:00

who are your true friends?
u're all alone in this world,
but when the time comes,
you'll just leave peacefully,
and no one would have none you ever existed.
:(

2005-11-29T11:03:00.000+08:00

wanted to become strong, but all i am is nothing more than a weakling.

2005-11-29T10:36:00.000+08:00

Okay, the holidays have been really sucky since it started for me.. like 25th of november? zzz
I have yet to go out a single time, everyone doesn't wanna go clubbing when I ask them, which makes you really wonder why they acting kinda strange.
Just feel some lousy bitch's behind all these play... but I hope my judgement's wrong.
Anyways, I shall ignore it and assume the guys just aint free. Okies... So I've completed star wars episode 3 and 25% of Need For Speed: Most Wanted, I dont play the whole day.. or else I'd have completed alot of my games already, I'm just taking my time. Star wars episode 3 isn't that difficult.. compared to episode1, I remember playing it at lower sec and boy did I have a tough time, but this time, the game seemed really easy to complete.. weird. haha. either that or my mind has grown over the years becoming more complex.. maybe maybe. ah wells...
Okies, then there's Need For Speed(NFS), really good game... I guess it rocks but I think the guide's not really reliable when it comes to choosing the markers after beating the rivals. So.. I realised a bit late that "pink slips" are some markers where you obtain the last rival's car you just beat.. and boy. are some of the cars hot! the next rival has a porsche c clayman.. and that's jus one hell of a car.. ah.. haha. but it's kinda scary cause you gotta raise your bounty and complete milestones and races before challenging a rival. why scary? cause people come chasing after you, and after beating #9 on the list, you get helicopters chasing you.. oh man.. isn't really nice to get caught by the cops in the game. haha... ah wells I got nothing much to say..
Sigh.. about 1month more to army,I'm dreading it.. cause it signals no more school uniforms for me. uni's gonna come real soon.. and I'll be an adult... I dont wanna be an adult so soon.. :( ah wells.. not as though we can slow time down or anything like that.
oh oh.. Okies, people who read my blog please pass the message around. Eunice messaged me finally and...

TPJC Post Prom: 2nd December
Venue: ONE@One Fullerton
Price: Not Confirmed(tomorrow k?)

Okies, that's all, thanks for de info eunice, yeah peepz! even if ya not from TPJC, please do come down? :) I'll entertain all my frens who are coming yeah? haha...

2005-11-26T07:38:00.000+08:00

Alright... finally the A levels are over, but not that it really made any difference. The whole experience is just so mentally draining and demoralising. I just feel that I worked harder for the O's but if I think through again, I feel more work has been put into for the A's... haha
I mean I studied for more than 12hours a day 1week after my prelims for the O'levels. but for the A's,the most I studied was 12hours.. but it was an average of about 6-8hours a day, that's all. If you think about it, I've been like consistently studying for the whole year and the end of last year. So maybe I worked harder for the A's.. ah wells. It's quite difficult to tell eh... even my godbrothers feel we worked harder at the end for the O's... ah wells. It's over.. just have to wait a couple of months more before the results eh? hehe...
Meanwhile, I bought my Playstation2 finally, with much procrastinating at the beginnning... yes i know PS3 is coming out very soon. but if you think about it, I'm also going to the army soon.. so why not buy the PS2 and play it like crazy rather than buy a PS3 and never play it right? Yeah... hehe
I dont know what to say.. but right now I'm just really hoping for the best. No regrets I guess, it's all over. And I'm very glad to say I'm proud of myself.. all the effort I put in for Fmaths without giving up, just hope my hard work pays off, same goes for the Physics S-paper, I'm sure there are so many better people out there.. but just hope I'll be able to shine. I really want a scholarship so I'll take some things off my mum's mind and mind to begin with. If that does happen, I'll be able to choose a better college too. I'm considering aeronautical engineering.. Yeah! A relief teacher told me it has lots of mechanics, and mechanics is REALLY FUN. It never ceases to make me feel happy, I'm weird yeah. Anyways, hope it's what I really want to study, but I'll be researching into the area more since the holidays have begun and see if it suits me.If not,I guess I'll be studying Physics or maybe even try out for a double degree in Physics and Maths if there's such a thing. Ah wells, we'll see when the time comes eh?
Oh! Praying works during exams, of course dont pray for good results. Pray for guidance, it's ultimately your hard work that's going to pay off and all you ask from the Lord is his guidance,no more. Dont be greedy! :) The Lord works his wonders very subtly. o.O
I guess I might be going clubbing tonight, but that really depends on my khakis yeah.. haha, if there's nobody that's interested in going then I wont go and just end up sleeping like a log tonight. My brother had the audacity to actually talk on the phone and blast his music in the middle of the night. Can you believe it? of all days to choose, the night before my last paper? ah wells... stupid fellow. Of course, I shan't be angry, no point anyways.
I got my edusave merit bursary award for the second time in a row. Really proud of myself, I've never gotten an edusave award until like after the O levels, and JC life has been just great.. I've made it to the top 25% of the school again! Although I really dint quite expect cause I felt my results were rather appalling. Quite proud of myself, make my mama happy too. :) everyone's happy, guess I'll keep that money in the bank once again... too bad no eagles award or anything like that this time, would really love to have that money to save. Ah wells, work hard work hard. Oh, I'm not being arrogant in anyway if you are reading and feel I am. Ah wells, just proud that I'm finally putting effort to my studies and I've been a consistent scorer in my grades ( other than Fmaths, Straight Fs... haha ). Yeaps, it'll come very soon.. March.
Okies, so the holidays have started for me and I've got almost everything planned up. Pack my school notes and those whatever rubbish I have, okay.. not rubbish, anyways, I'm going to give free tuition or really cheap ones next year if I feel I'm qualified enough. I'm sure everyone out there's just waiting to burn their notes eh.. heh. I would love to though, how about contributing my General Paper notes, if I can firstly,find them, and secondly, have notes in the first place to begin with. I've also got lots of exercising planned up, swimming and running everyday and gymming on alternate days. Really hope to boost my fitness LOADS so I can make it into Officer Cadet School(OCS) and get a high pay,haha.. I sound so money-minded. But this money will go into my future education in the university. Yeaps... I guess that's all for today. need to rest my mind for awhile. :)

2005-11-08T01:57:00.000+08:00

1more day... wahah. gd luck to all peeps! :) god bless! its gonna be 3long weeks for me.. while sum of u jus have to wait 2.. haha. ah wells.

2005-10-28T13:50:00.000+08:00

The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach>

Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: abcscript

2005-09-19T15:38:00.000+08:00

everyone's "falling in love" ... geesh please. it's like.. i know so many people who jus break up, or they've liked someone for very long.
but the other party doesn't return the feelings, and den.. suddenly they have a new stead out of nowhere? like please... stop lying to yourselves. you know, love's so screwed up in this way, people lie to themselves... jus becos u suddenly feel an empty void inside your heart.. your feelings are jus more fragile, and u take them to be true. i realli duno wat to say, but this tells me even more that i shouldnt be like that. its realli so god-darn pathetic.
anyways just a short post eh? got nothing much to say anyways. hmmms, haven't been studying the whole wkend.. have been slacking. so i gotta mug thru stats and mechs today.. haha and tml! or i'm screwed big time. realli hoping the fmaths paper2 can pull me up to a pass for Fmaths, i'll be the happiest guy alive.. :D okies... study study! final burst for now! HARD TEN! haha... den we shall go CLUBBING this thursday.. and maybe friday, i think i'm so gonna get super high and dance like a freak manzzz.lol. after that it's 1wk break and hardcore mugging. mug jus like the o levels baby.. yeah yeah. den hopefully i'll not be careless and do well for my A levels.
oh, my tag board's screwed again eh? stupid host.. sumthing wrong with their tag board everytime.. blah!

2005-09-17T05:36:00.000+08:00

i jus suddenly remember sumthing. my old friend i lost contact with.. when he recieved his alvl results a couple of yrs back? he's 2yrs older than us.. i heard he dint do well EOF? shit man... suddenly i'm thinking bout it, haha i feel like i gonna tear. i really hope i do well for the a lvls man..
i feel like i've becum so stupid. so lousy at everything i'm doing... *sigh* , i just hope there's enough time to correct my wrongs. jus like the o's... and there's a saying that goes "once bitten,twice shy" how untrue that statement can be... but maybe to a certain extent. i've definitely worked quite consistently this yr.. and maybe 1/4 to 1/2 of last year.. so i believe i can do it!
i've always told myself this, "I'll rise up to the occasion" all marists can.you know, marists are damn smart, but there's a flaw to this... we're damn lazy. haha, just like tpjc, but tpjc's far off worse being more lazy. super lazy, c'mon man... our o lvls results can beat tjc anytime, that useless school... im' sure we can beat them. but we're just too darn friggin' lazy.. but why?
just about 1month more... to make my fmaths work out.. will i ever get a B for it at least? haha.. i'm still getting Fs though, but i hope i can do it. i know i can.. i gotta work hard for physics S paper too.. dont believe i can't do well in all these challenging subjects, isn't that the reason i took it in the first place?
anyways, i think i'm gonna be on full mugging schedule 1wk after the prelims end, it's gonna be jus like after the o lvls. good clean hard muggin all the way, 12hours a day. let's see how much i can take it man
AERONAUTICAL ENGINEERING + SCHOLARSHIP = FOR ME! (AAAB + MERIT)

2005-09-12T10:17:00.000+08:00

let's face it, the school sucks, and whichever school you go to DOES affect your results though teachers tell you they dont.

my physics has dropped from a standard of A1 to a PASS.
i've turned from MUGGER to SLACKER.

i realli dun know what to say... this is all i got to say, it's like.. geesh. oh guess what, i counted the number of papers, and i have 9 out of 12papers this week? which f-ed up actually gives you 9papers in 1week!?!?! ok, let's put it this way, we're supposed to be simulating the A' levels at this point of time, but guess what... this is no way, cramming up the papers and all. you just want the friggin' students to fail.

oh, and the principal,was gladly boasting to our batch that 125students last year had 2A's or more? excuse, that's less than 20%, top jc's are aiming for 100% students with straight A's, and look at her.. being so happy with nothing in comparision with what the other schools are aiming for. the school's real motto should just be " aim & never achieve ", face it people. if you gonna say you love the school, think again. have you ever wondered why you became so slack, or you HAVE BECOME such a slacker in this school? it's the environment,most but not all the teachers leave to practically LEARN INDEPENDENTLY or should i put it another way, they give a beeswax about you. geesh, i can't even do simple A level questions u know that? how am i supposed to score? how am i supposed to get to where i want to? haiz.. i'm just so disappointed and i feel so hopeless, excuse me.. if you gonna think i'm dumb. for your information, i'm in the top 25% of the school cohort and i'm already feeling this crappy? it's either the students who are doing worse than me are either 1. can't be bothered 2. jus plain fucking dumb 3. they're damn rich so they can fail their A'levels and still go to an overseas university. i feel so darn helpless, i've been trained to study so damn hard in secondary school.. i miss the way things were ya know, i dont even know what the future holds for me anymore. if only i can achieve wat i've aimed for... god bless me. i swear i'll mug like a dog like what j oh says after the prelims. i've got no choice... i swear i'm taking back what's mine. STRAIGHT As FUCK!

2005-09-09T10:49:00.000+08:00

yeah yeah.. i did quite alot of studyin this morning. proud of myself,though its not enough since i'm behind time.

okies,tml is my last day at the old folks home.. finally. not that its been a rather mundane or anything. hmms, it's just that i can finally use the last 3days to immerse myself in a deep concentrated solution of studying. yups.. gonna be full mugging.. hopefully i can do well for the prelims.. and the A's of course.. :P

hmmms. now now.. i got nothing much to say.. guess that's my entry for now. for today. yeah... i miss clubbing.. ahh! can party next week i think? haha.. since my papers end on the following wednesday, but there's only 2papers left out of.. lemme think.. 10papers? during the following week.. crazy school. haha. okies.. taggie my board peeps.. this board nice nice? =D

2005-09-05T11:47:00.000+08:00

"Super Trouper"

Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I won't feel blue
Like I always do
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you

I was sick and tired of everything
When I called you last night from Glasgow
All I do is eat and sleep and sing
Wishing every show was the last show
(Wishing every show was the last show)
So imagine I was glad to hear you're coming
(Glad to hear you're coming)
Suddenly I feel all right
(And suddenly it's gonna be)
And it's gonna be so different
When I'm on the stage tonight

Tonight the
Super Trouper lights are gonna find me
Shining like the sun
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Smiling, having fun
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Feeling like a number one
Tonight the
Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I won't feel blue
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Like I always do
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you

Facing twenty thousand of your friends
How can anyone be so lonely
Part of a success that never ends
Still I'm thinking about you only
(Still I'm thinking about you only)
There are moments when I think I'm going crazy
(Think I'm going crazy)
But it's gonna be alright
(You'll soon be changing everything)
Everything will be so different
When I'm on the stage tonight

Tonight the
Super Trouper lights are gonna find me
Shining like the sun
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Smiling, having fun
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Feeling like a number one
Tonight the
Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I won't feel blue
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Like I always do
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you

So I'll be there when you arrive
The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive
And when you take me in your arms
And hold me tight
I know it's gonna mean so much tonight

Tonight the
Super Trouper lights are gonna find me
Shining like the sun
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Smiling, having fun
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Feeling like a number one
Tonight the
Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I won't feel blue
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
Like I always do
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you

{repeat and fade}

im' sure it was spelt as super trooper.. haha... ah wells. tt's funny, but who cares... this song has been ringing in my head the whole day.. or the past few for the matter of that. haha... heard it during the mjc choir concert, quite nice.. gots to say mj sang quite well.. :) lalala... okies. off to study now. haha.. no choice eh? :)

2005-09-04T06:32:00.000+08:00

wooo.. i have 38posts oredi.. 39including this one. amazing, although those daily bloggers would be far far in front of me.. haha
i gots to say, my stay at the old folks' home has been very entertaining and enjoyable.. about 18hours left to do for me.. yups. :D althou i hope i can get over and done with it since i wanna really study. ah wells. shld finish early next wk so i can meet my t'chers if there is a need to for consultation

i'm disappointed... jus thinkin bout someone. its funny, friendship that is, i duno. my friend used to sms me everyday.. that was very thoughtful dont u think? such a nice friend.. someone i was hoping to be able to confide in. but sad to say after awhile my friend just stopped even messaging me online, and sms-ing of course. the reason? simple, my friend found someone new already... geesh. it's like.. i duno man, i feel kinda used. i was like just someone to fill an empty void temporarily or someone to find when u're just bored...i am quite hurt. ah wells..i shall try to forget about it. *pissed* *disappointed*

her birthday's coming soon.. someone special.. i hope.. haha :)

2005-09-02T10:09:00.000+08:00

okies.. been to old folks' home for the last couple of days, 27.5 hours of cip left for me to complete.. haha.. hmms nothing much to say

maybe i haven't been studying as hard as i would like for the past week? i'm so slack la.. keep sitting in front of the comp and jus idling, i realli shld kick my own ass if i could.. haha. ah wells, at least i studied this morning.. i did quite a bit and i'm proud of myself.. gonna study much much more later though. need to.. force myself to... :D

okies, my experience at the old folks' home is jus fantastic, i'm having quite alot of fun, despite suffering from backaches due to households chores i had to do. haha. had so much more interaction with them today.. and i got to say, old folk's can behave jus like us.. trust me. haha. man.. i mean there's so much things for my to say... jus too much, i'll jus leave it for my service learning journal eh? haha.. maybe den i'll jus copy paste it into one of bloggie entries and post it. *yawn*

hmms, im' like really starving right now. oh ya.. if i forget! MAHJONG with the old folks' tomorrow.. haha. they're all so excited la can.. haha. :D i shall go get dinner now and study! bye peeps~!

P.S i dont think anyone's reading my bloggie.. haha. ah wells...

2005-08-31T00:24:00.000+08:00

does anyone even care...

2005-08-30T13:37:00.000+08:00

everyone just disappears...

everyone just ignores you...

nothing seems to make sense anymore...

even the right words seem so wrong...

someone tell me what's so wrong...

bah! okies.. rubbbish, you can choose to ignore this.. bla bla.. hmms or not. okies, so i skipped school today, but i studied 2lousy chapters of physics.. that's all, i know i can do much better.. *sigh* i need to push myself harder.. i'm so slack..
i think it's just gonna be like the o levels again...
but that was different, i studied hard.. dint do well.. studied even harder..
this time.. im' not even studying hard.. even if i dont do well, i might not be motivated to study hard... i've lost the drive, the will to work hard.. isn't it funny, i think the education system jus wears you out over the years... i wonder how some people are so driven to continue studying, maybe it's cos they have aspirations they are willing to fight for..

while me... i dont have much for now. although i wanna get into aerospace engineering, which is definitely a difficult course to enter, i dont see myself having an occupation in future, at least one i can imagine myself or dream to be... if only i had these.. bah! okies, gonna study through the night, got to force myself.

oh yeah, might be doing like 5hours of cip everyday until next week so i can clock up 40hours.. hopefully i wont be too worn out that i can't study... geesh, let's pray hard. especially for my f maths.. dont know how to improve it.. god bless me man... or someone teach me.. if it's not too late.. which i think it isn't...

....

2005-08-28T05:05:00.000+08:00

i wish i could turn back time... and change almost everything that has happened...

*sigh*... about 2weeks left to prelims and i'm so unprepared.. i just dont have the strength to study hard, i can't find my source of motivation... someone help me.. geesh...

2005-08-23T13:44:00.000+08:00

nuthin much to blog.. just realli studied today.. i feel it man.. i feel so good studying so much. ;D

looking forward to my self-declaration of a break.. yippeee... hope i can study 12hours a day after that.. gotta start planning my timetable oredi. hope i can achieve my aims this time. yuppers.. okies.. that's all i have to say today.. i'm really really mentally exhausted. *yawn*

nite nite peepz... :)

2005-08-15T11:35:00.000+08:00

yeah yeah went out today!!! haha.. but i haven't studied since friday.. been slacking around so much..
friday went to watch bewitched, not nice! not funny. dont watch.. trust me.haha... den went swimming with herng yih and grace.. woah! super tiring la please.. i mean i haven't exercised for ages... and i was like using breast stroke to catch up them can? haha.. they both were swimming with frontcrawl.. bah! den met huifen and junie on the way to interchange.. haha.. long time never see her.. i still think she has grown tallers...

saturday.. i slept the whole day, in the end never go church, i think my god-sister pissed with me.. haha cos i pang seh her.. ah... that's all, wanted to study but i just ended up watching tv the whole night.. so i dint mug through the night.. wahaha

sunday, whee! went to takashimaya toy fair today. was supposed to meet up with huiting at 12noon but i went at like 1220 :X haha. but she only waited 5mins.. and she still can complain i very late.. haha. never see her very long, since like last year after the attachment programme ended. and to my surprise we actually have so much much much much much in common.. like everything.. wahha okies. so went to look at toys with her.. and she bought 2tomtom snails.. whatever tomtom is.. and 1notepad and something which i can't remember.. haha i bought 8luffy toy figurines.. there were only 8 out of the 16 left la.. so sadx.. :'( *sobx* some people stole the Luffy A and Zoro A figurines.. no more.. and xiangmin has them.. grrr! okays.. so never mind, after that me n huiting went to meet her kindergarden friend and they tot i couldnt speak in chinese or even listen.. haha! damn funny.. den we ate at this new japanese stall opposite yoshinoya(at takashimaya).. man, it's so god damn fabulous, i'm like still thinking about it.. really fantastic! *2thumbs up* haha i recommend everyone to go eat.. yum yum! i ate the beef pepper rice.. they serve it in like some kind of "electromagnetic" hotstove thingy (basically hot plate? haha) with cooked rice and cooked corn.. den they put raw beef on top of it.. so you have to stir it,mix it.. den the beef will get cooked.. really nice! peppery yet sweet taste.. yummy! would luv to go eat it sumday again! yum yum.... ok.. that's all for today..

I'M REALLY GOING TO STUDY NOW. like thru the nite i hope... i really hope :D perhaps admire my toy figurines at the same time.. haha, okies that's all folks. :P

*to let my emotions run me over, or to control them before i get hurt all over again*

2005-08-13T12:49:00.000+08:00

hmmms... sometimes it's just so much better never to hold any feelings or any sort.. be the heartless person.. haha.. ahhh! but i'm too sensitive oredi.. how i wish... hmms

ah wells.. have been trying to study hard the past few days.. slacked throughout the whole national day holiday and the weekend.. tried to make up for it.. hmms.. i also got nothing to say... haha..
i'm thankful for all the friends i have.. my stomach feels very bad these few days( it is right now..) boohoo.. i think it's all the spicy food i've been taking it.. ah! sensitive person with a sensitive stomach.. i'm totally sensitive.. mwahaha.. ok spastic. ah wells.. i got nothing much to blog about today.. must MUG MUG MUG!

2005-08-07T01:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes.. I really wonder, why the guilty ones defend themselves so strongly... haha. now people are calling this thing childish when they've been doing it for almost 2years to come.. anyway, the bitch(5th party) from what I've heard.. has been disliked in her secondary school, cause she's a hell big backstabber.. haha. no wonder she's trying to defend herself so strongly.

But I guess the main reason why she's doing that so can stick with the gang of four... she doesn't wanna lose their friendship, so she can continue backstabbing them... haha. i've never seen someone so low-down, you backstab someone... and you wanna make friends with them even more so you can dig out their secrets and tell others behind their backs... interesting way to do things. I bet you must be trying to reason with them how innocent you are...

Guess what, I'm very sure of my facts, cause you told them to me... or shld i say my ex and she told me... so any interval that the words might have gotten twisted would either be right from mouth or hers... so ya.. sorry. but it's against my principles to lie... I dont LIE,not like some people who lie to themselves to their whole life..
you say not everyone wants to be with popular people.. i guess this is a very perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black.. cause it jolly well seems you're backstabbing those 4 and you're saying i wanna be with popular people... in the first place whose famous in this school? i dont need to be with popular people, all i need are people whom i can TRUST and not find and dig out people's secrets so i spill them out behind their backs... so way interesting the way you work. KUDOS!!! to your backstabbing abilities... i'm sure u can grow up to have an occupation like a... hmmm... a liar! a very good one indeed... hmmm or maybe you were calling yourself famous and me wanting to be your friend? haha.. i rather not.. not any time... in FACT,NEVER!

and another thing.... i've already told my classmate that i've backstabbed her last time and i was sorry, i decided to be a FRIEND and tell her what her FLAWS were, rather than backstab her,that's not a FRIEND... a FRIEND'S one that tells your your FLAWS.to tell you the truth, cause of this incident.. she and i have actually becum much closer friends, i would luv to thank you very much for that.

just remember this, Your "Friends of four" are so gonna get backstabbed by you again... by your lousy bitch mouth.. remember you told me. "they all only have 1mind, if one person says something, they all remember" haha.. that's where i learnt to quote that they have 1mind cause it's so correct but i've never tot of something like that.. but thanks for giving me that information. oh and regarding the incident that my friend left his phone lying around doesnt gif u the authority to "Spy on their things and deprive them of their privacy"... hmmm... wonder who is the childish one.. haha so funny la... really "pot calling the kettle black" the pot's gotta be really black...

funny thing is.. you all have been commenting on the r/ships of others like you disagree and you think that couple wont be compatible.. realli itchy mouths you FIVE have.. you all think you're GOD deciding who can and who cant? this is so crappy... you know, haha people were surprised when i told them that the bitch was a really good backstabber... my friend went.. "what!?! she's that kinda person?" i guess everybody knows now.. in due time.. people will really understand what you all are like... pretending to be NICE to EVERYBODY so you can get FAMOUS... oh wait.. that's 4of you all... the 5TH person's just a DOG following them around and LICKING THEIR BOOTS and SNIFFING THEIR ASSES where ever they go.. wonder who has a worst mind... wait i mean NO MIND...

anyways.. i got nothing much left to say right now, at least i know what i did last time and whether it's factual.. cos rumours are NEVER factual... especially when you get a bunch of 5PEOPLE talking about it.. cause THREE OUT OF THE FIVE were all BIG RUMOUR-SPREADING BACKSTABBERS in their school.. after all, i have friends from their secondary school...just my luck to know these "FAMOUS" people.. haha

P.S, whoever i choose to pick an arguement with(not a fight if your english is fantastically grammatically perfect but i guess it aint) aint up to your opinion, so stop being GOD and being so childish commenting on every single thing people do.. I dint pick an arguement with you to begin with i said FOUR.. no mention of BITCH.. but you wanted to JOIN along and become FAMOUS... so just STFU.

2005-08-05T12:58:00.000+08:00

haha... very funny sia. some people told me not to bitch about them and put words in their mouth when their own circle of friends told me that they bitched about me... saying i'm a flirt in the school and all... saying i jio dem and when i failed i when to another person...

the real story is, i dint wanna jio that person after i realised she wasnt COMPATIBLE with me... and the next person i jio-ed actually LIKED me for a period... cause she confessed she had a CRUSH on me, but i shall not brood about it.. but you see.. it was definitely cause of the PEER PRESSURE she was facing that she decided to ignore me... which led to the start of rumours of me being a flirt... I've heard the whole story, and we all know ourselves whats true and whats not...

also.. i remember saying 4girls gossiping about me in school... not 5, i dint know a 5th person wanted to get herself involved... I mean she can get herself involved... haha. guess what.. she's the biggest backstabber of them all.. can you believe it... i dint wanna bad mouth about her, i actually had a good impression of her until she talked about me... I dint even mention about her in any of my blog entries... realli funny...

you know.. there's this quote in the bible.. something about noticing the LOG in YOUR EYE before noticing the SPECK in someone else' eye... what that means is we gotta realise about our own WEAKNESSES and FLAWS before noticing and BITCHING about the FLAWS of OTHERS! haha... now i know why some people name themselves BITCHES... they dont even realise their own flaws.. i admit mine.. I'm open-minded,sociable,loud... and just extremely friendly and OVER-TRUSTING.. but i definitely learnt one great lesson... there are always gonna be bitches who wanna ruin your reputation... people say others talk bad about you cause THESE people are just JEALOUS... I guess so... but i shall not be bothered...

you know... my friends told me i'd be ruining my r/ships with these people upon blogging this, and you know what... i dont even know why i'm doing this... i shldnt. i realli need to go for CONFESSION... i really feel so sinful right now... Mr.Tan says there's something called KARMA... what goes around just comes back to you... I guess you've been backstabbing thousands of people in your school.. it's time you get yours... I'm so sorry to say that. To add to that.. you all have 1mind... so each person has about one-quarter of a mind, wonder who the MASTERMIND is who controls the rest like zombies or even drones... you all aren't strong enuff to haf your own DECISIONS... whatever others say you believe... my god.. i really got nothing to say.. anyways,your own group of "friends" actually backstab you behind your back right.. so cool.. or is it the 5th party? hmmmsss.. the jealous one that i dint blog about and wanted to get herself involved. ah wells... nothing left to say

I dont wanna hate anyone,this the 1st time I've really hated someone cause I know they did something wrong to me which aint true. I've prayed and cried so many times to the Lord that people stop backstabbing me, but it just aint gonna happen... until people learn to keep their comments to themselves, cause people who know me... KNOW me... I dont give my close friends such an impression... sadly. Like I once said, "Dont Judge A Book By Its Cover". The world's stereotype and discriminative.. haha.. or perhaps cause I'm a EURASIAN and these people are racist... hmmms.

Okay, I shall stop bloggin... got nothing left to say..

*I'm really glad we broke up,cause you made me realise that I can't trust me, and perhaps you've never placed that trust in me. I pray to the LORD to forgive this people and I hope to make peace with them, not war. I dont wanna hate...

2005-08-01T22:37:00.000+08:00

man... i'm finally feeling TIRED, haha. can you believe it? i slept at like 4am last night la, dont know doing what shit oso... not that i was studying or anything. did all my school work until 12am den chatted online until 2am cause my mama wasn't home yet at that time last night! yippeeee... but when she came home she started nagging.. haha.
after which, i went to read through the physics of fluids notes i think? haha.. i think i forgot what i learnt already,anyways was starving like mad so i went to the 24hr-coffeeshop to eat... came home had stomach problems so i was in the toilet for over an hour or so...
went to read my story book before deciding to sleep.. haha. that was all i did... but amazingly i wasn't tired the whole day and i woke up on time!.. kind of.. haha... hmmms had gastric problem today cos i dint haf lunch :'( ah wells, i think i'll go try find sumthin to study now...
so thats all.. tata!

2005-08-01T15:05:00.000+08:00

yeah yeha... did finish my nuclear physics tutorial, completed my organic revision thingy which i'm supposed to hand in to mdm neo tomorrow morning... haha. althou' i skipped question 3. and completed my gp draft thingy... kind of.. i'm screwed..hmms

yeah,while searching for articles, i dint know the homosexual circle in Singapore is so LARGE, seriously... it's disgusting just thinking about it. homos are okay i guess, just not the desperate ones... there are just too many desperate gays roaming about in Singapore looking for other guys... grrr.... haha.. that's all i have to say now, dont' wanna get stalked or anything... man... hmms.. think i'll go off to reading my book or something..

2005-08-01T04:17:00.000+08:00

Yoyo.. have been eating like expensive meals the last couple of days, which I forgot to mention...
I ate ramen yesterday at far east... wooo, tom yam chicken cutlet, although the menu said it was supposedly the most spicy, it wasn't.. haha but the chicken cutlet was really really great, that meal sure cost me alot.
Oh yeah, went to buy Hong Yi's present yesterday.. haha.. it's a sexy yellow g-string, and guess what, it has straps along it to be tied to the dick.. haha,so gonna parade him around school during recess with that on his head on tuesday.. mwahaha! yeah, den bought this rubber doll condom for him, it has a birdie picture on it... since I always call him "Ah Bird" and vice versa.. hahah! I'm sure he's so gonna enjoy his present...
Ok.. I ate ikea the day before, ate the roast beef or something with broccoli soup... although the colour would turn anyone off(it's really green!), but it tastes exactly like mushroom soup... Yummy! would luv to have another soup of it.. yummy
Now now.. lemme think what else I did yesterday.. oh, just attended the straits times recuit seminar at suntec, went late so I missed alot.. haha thought it was just some exhibition but there was this REALLY GOOD speaker giving a talk so yeah... ah wells. thats all I did yesterday.. boring.. haha... Gonna try to mug today! ok that's all for today... =P

The Perfect World With All Its Imperfections

2005-07-30T11:42:00.000+08:00

First time I'm gonna display a topic... it's been really long since I blogged, and I've so wanted to do the past few days...

The world has always been perfect with all it's little imperfections here and there... which kinda makes it really painful.
You know, I believe my attitude is one the world should have, not to be arrogant or anything. I'm basically a sociable person who trusts people too easily (naive like what shermaine says)... I'm a naive SHIT,officially one. Everytime I make friends, I trust all of them so much, give them so much trust, but in the end.. all I get back in return is.. backstabbing, people talking behind my back, spreading rumours about me which are so untrue.. whats wrong with these people?
The biggest backstabbing bunch of people I've ever seen are those grp of 4girls in my school,they think they're so perfect, but everytime they talk and sneer behind the backs of others.I've officially been labelled a flirt/womaniser in school (correct me if I'm wrong?)... yeah
I actually cried a couple of nights ago, cause one of my friends found me irritating cause I asked her to help me out with a favour, guess what's the best part. She knew the answers to what I wanted to know but she just dint wanna tell me and she even blocked me on msn.. If she just tell me that she couldn't tell me what I wanted to know, it would make things so much simple... instead she tells me she dont know anything and she's couldn't be bothered to find out... *rolls eyes*
I realli got nothing much to say anymore, all I just hope for is to make friends with everyone, no enemies... to tell you the truth, I dont hate anyone... Not even anthony, the gang of four who backstab me,benjamin tan.. no one, yes... they dislike me, they can hate me, backstab me... I'll just get really pissed for a while, but you know what... they've never done anything bad to me,why should I hate them? The world would be so peaceful if every single one of us just learnt to make friends...
The world's just so screwed up, see... I make friends and people become so stereotype, yes I know that's human nature, but you know what, I've seen people who give worst 1st impressions but have great personalities.. We SHOULD definitely learn to not judge books by their cover.. it's such a common expression but how often do we actually follow this "rule".. haha. I realli got nothing to say, just becos someone has many friends of the opposite sex, that doesn't make one a flirt. I have to admire Grace for that.. Grace! must read ah.. haha, yeah.. u know people think she's a flirt, but I think she's just like me.. we make many friends of the opposite sex and all we get is people talking behind our backs, I admire her for ignoring all those people.
Ok, I'm kinda realli dizzy and I can't remember what I wanted to say.. maybe I got nothing left to say... anyways, I realli wanna thank those people who have taken so much time and effort to know me and yet not stereotype me... thanks

Here goes:
Shermaine,Zhi Zhong,Ruth,Michelle Xu,Shi Ling,those G2 peeps,Jazryl,J Oh,... I'm sure there's many more people who have taken the painstaking effort to know me.

Anyways, just wanna apologise to anyone I might have offended unknowinglly... and thank you Mr Tan Junxiang for being patient with me.. haha, I know you quite irritated with me recently rite? and maybe others who I might have irritated... Hey! if I dont talk rubbish, there wont be life.. that's my stand,I make the world a more lively place ya know?haha... Okay thats all, and people tag my board please? Very lonely when no one bloggies... :)

2005-06-21T12:10:00.000+08:00

Hey hey... just here to blog a little bit i guess... the common test's coming up and i've only kinda studied physics(which is almost complete) and did my f maths tutorials which i rushed thru the 2nd wk of the holidays... still left with chemistry which is so gonna be a much much heavier load on me... *sigh*.. haha, but on a brighter side, i believe i can complete the syllabus in time i guess, perhaps just not ample time to practice all my subjects, so hopefully at least i'll be able to score straight Cs? I've never gotten more than an O for f maths but this time i'm more confident since i've been doing my tutorials much more faithfully than last year...

Oh yeah, did my CIP today.. which is gonna last for 2more days.It's some study camp thing to help the P6 students at pasir ris primary understand how to study better and have time management and mainly HAVE FUN!!! yeah. haha i got assigned duty of being in charge of one of the game stations, so i was practically slacking the whole time there except the periods where I had to take charge of the games, haha... everyone's so envious of that duty since you get to slack most of the time... ah wells, i got to say, playing these lil' kids can be real fun althou' they're like the biggest rascals eh? haha, but i'm sure we were all once like that? oh, the cute kids are also kinda sexist at their age still where they dun mix with the opposite sex, haha... it can be really cute seeing them seperate each other like the opposite sex has some disease or something... haha. ok, so the people in charge says the EM3 students are coming down tomorrow and they might create trouble all those kinda stuff... ah well, I wouldn't how true it could be till tomorrow... ok that's all I gotta blog for today. :D god bless ya all~

2005-06-08T14:13:00.000+08:00

Yoyo... wooo bummed the whole day.. slept at like 3am last night just to rush thru my stats tutorial 13/14 and I finished it!!!! so happy, but there's still 15 to rush thru before thursday.. hehe. so I'll be mugging thru my tutorials thru the nite again, perhaps sleep at 3am or later again, ah wells. I've been sleeping the whole day. celebrated my mum's b'day in the noon today! went to cafe cartel.. and I ordered the meat lovers, woo hooo...! chicken chop,pork chop and this gigantic sausage, yum yum.. I ordered the set one,after which i had 2brownies wif ice cream for dessert... gosh! was I stuffed or wat.. hmms... okies. after that went grocery shopping, or should I say fruit shopping with my grandma and mum. yups, thats about it for today cause I was just sleeping the rest of the time... haha! okies.. guys guys! please if u're reading this, please tag my board and tell me what you think about the new bloggie skin ya? =D

2005-06-07T05:16:00.000+08:00

Hey guys.. I know I haven't been bloggin for a very very long time. Ah wells, I shall post nothing for today or now cause I got nothing to say... haha. Hmmms.. Anyways, the holidays are here and I gotta start muggin... I need to but I can't!!! Argh!!!!

2005-03-21T13:47:00.000+08:00

Yoyo peeps!!! sorry, have been just too lazy to blog, but will see whether i have the mood in future which i do right now. Anyways... syf is in like less than 2mths, the bowling a divisions is in like also less than 2months, pressure is kicking in. really hope i win something for bowling this year... i wanna prove it to michael wong man. damn backstabber... anyways haven't been studying this holidays, so lazy!!! crap, wasted one week, kinda.. have been busy with ccas and chalet all those crappy stuff, ah well! easter alive performance on may 2nd!!! very very fast... hope we do up a good performance. may's gonna be my busiest month this year... that's all folks. see ya and good night!

2005-02-11T05:35:00.000+08:00

So long never update... dont know wat to update also.. :D ah wells. Have been busy with CCAs everyday during school from monday to saturday. and guess what? I qualified for Physics "S" Paper! WhooPee!!! but it ain't gonna be easy.. but must work hard for the S paper.. and the normal A level Paper. Yup yup... think I've been faithfully doing my maths tutorials also, so should be doing better this year I hope. hmmms..now cny, like so boring this year. Got nothing to do sia.. WHAT SIA!?!?! oh, had my road run last week I think, supposed to run 5km but I like ran half the distance and walked the other half. Got this really really bad stitch so had to stop. wasted la... ah wells! My faculty won overall champ! FAC D Rules! oh, yup. den went to buy CNY clothes with my darling!~ (SNOOPY!!!) *nods* got this really nice quicksilver jeans, one white quicksilver shirt and one op shirt. Wooo! was very tired when I got home. I think that's all, got nothing to do at home one... although I feel like swimming.. hmmz... *-)

2005-01-13T13:05:00.000+08:00

Yoyo!!! Have been doing so much stuff the past couple of weeks so I dint really have to time or I was just plain lazy to type. But I'm just gonna blog abit... heh. Yeap Yeap! I quit the kayaking team already and I joined choir!!! Choir ends on the 4th of May while kayaking ends in July? So that would give me so much more time to study. But I haven't been doing my tutorials cause I can't manage my time properly lately... I need to start setting up a timetable soon. Yeah!!! My bowling's still crappy... I dont know how to improve, need to do more drills I guess.. TPJC stands quite a high chance of winning. Whee!!! Hopefully we can... Yup Yup. That's about it. Most of the stuff that happened the last couple of weeks were the New Year's Eve party which was rather a solemn one and lots of school. Yeah, school starts and studying begins! I wish everyone good luck and have fun ya? :D Happy Belated New Year!!! Haha...

2004-12-28T12:50:00.000+08:00

2Days since I last blogged.. havent really got much to say, ah wells. I dint go visiting to my aunts' places this year cause I was really so darn tired... Justin got 100bucks from each of them la, so jealous.. haha. That would be sufficient enough for me to buy my new bowling balls already. Ah well... guess I got to save up on my own. Soon Soon... mwahaha.

Okies yesterday had caroling in the morning. We caroled for the 9:15 and 11:15 mass sessions. Guess some people were touched by our singing? lol... I wouldnt know eh? but there were instances we were like singing to nobody and the only person clapping was alex at one point. Haha... after the caroling, me and nick sang part of this new and cool alleluia known as "The Festive Alleluia" to some of the other choir peeps, and we all started beatboxing to the rhythm, it sounded real good alright... I'm sure the choir's gonna love the alleluia when they hear it!!! yeah yeah! After the caroling we all went to pastamania... yum yum! long time never eat so I really enjoyed my meal, but I might have ordered a little too much.. hmmms(maybe I just dint add tobasco sauce to my garlic bread this time around?... haha. Oh and teased this guy at the counter by speaking in an Italian accent, haha was really funny cause he was like teasing Cherie so I decided to tease him. Sure was a sporting guy eh... haha. Merry Xmas! Okies... after that we went to play pool at parkway builders - mega pool? We played for about 2hours I think? haha... and I was being lame by not aiming when I played with Cheryl, haha. damn funny... let her win. =X I'm sure she knew I wasn't playing seriously, but only after she won... haha! Okies, after that went for combined choir sang with all the old foggies... can sleep boy, they can't read scores or something... haha, really really bad! ah well. Mass was okies with Archie being the main celebrant of mass, can't remember what was his homily on, but I can distinctly remember this kid who kept looking at Cherie especially throughout the whole mass. Haha, funny boy, pretend only.. but it was so obvious to all of us. Den Cheryl actually approached him and asked if he liked Cherie, he said no. But c'mon how old was he? which idiot would admit they like a gal? haha.. had dinner after that, nice fish slice bee hoon soup, yum yum! Really luv it, especially with lotsa chilli(the small red ones). After that had a mass online session with tons of g2 people, haha... had fun talking rubbish, but it was more of a discussion on some stuff I wanted to do for the choir.

Today had land training, when I left the house my stomach was feeling so bad I had to stop after 2stops and rush to the mrt toilet and relieve myself. But it felt really good after that, of course I was late for training. Okies, dint really do much for training today but I'm like damn weak la... so yeah la. Learnt this new stroke oso, captain and vice-captain went to look at the olympic videos and watched the strokings and taught me. :) but was really mentally exhausting,after that had briefing on next year's stuff and all... so MUCH stuff to remember... zzzZZZzzz... mentally exhausting you know. Haha... *Sigh* but this captain, I duno wat to say, I dun wanna quit but I feel like quitting.. the team's like dead already, only 4people turned up for training today, what's the point of training when there's no one else there to push you to work harder? yeah after training and the really long briefing, it was already noon I think, went home... talked on the phone and dozed off all the way till 7pm. dint really do much today, it's gonna be worse the next few days, dont know how to complete my homework. *Sigh*

Oooo... here comes the most interestin part, there's this "Festive Alleluia" I heard from one of Darren Leong's CD, it was really really good. and yes it was the one I mentioned earlier, anyways. I mentioned to Darren Leong about singing it and teaching it to the choir! and yup, the choir works really fast, it was only yesterday I mentioned about it and Marissa has bought us the scores as a present for us to teach. :D Marissa's so nice and cool! but she said she aint gonna, we gotta teach her. So yup! I got people from each section so they can learn the parts and teach their respective sections. Hopefully all goes well and we can sing it for easter, we might be having some singing session like we did this year. Woo woo! Gonna be real fun and tiring. But I guess lots of praying will help! Yup.. that's all for today I guess. :P 2more days till retreat!

2004-12-26T07:34:00.000+08:00

Hohoho!!! Merry Xmas!!! So sad.. ='( she bought me a jacket from shanghai and it was too small... :( :( so many times people by for my clothes that are 1size smaller than my size.. I'm not that small!!! yeah... midnight mass like I said wasn't good. There was just something missing in the atmosphere that dint give me the feeling of christmas. at least I saw lots of old friends after mass, which was great I guess... but I saw backstabbing liar guy who pretended to be nice, so I had to pretend to be nice and wish him a Merry Xmas! after which the whole of g2 went to jon chia's place and celebrated xmas... but the whole lot of us dint really do anything. when we reached his place, everyone just started trading presents with one another so it was very chaotic but I guess that lasted for a short only. I wanna thank Darren Leong for getting me the "Heart of Worship - The Passion" cd... one of these days I'm gonna suffer a heart attack from you people surprising me with such presents. I think Darryl and Nick were damn shocked when they recieved their presents. after all the exchanging of presents we had to carol for the hosts of the house. haha... but it dint really sound that good. Ah well... good attempt at least, whats done cannot be undone. we just slacked and started eating after the carolling session(we only sang 3songs... the brownies were just fabulous... yum yum. Okies... den everyone wanted Gerald to tell his "life stories", but some people were unhappy with the way everyone was treating Gerald... ah well... I got nothing to say. Oh, I couldnt find the chocolates that June gave me that I put into my pocket... but when I found it.. it was too late.. :'(. Luckily I was smart enough to bring a change of clothings. After a while we all just went into the living room and slacked and opened our christmas presents... hehe. got some interesting presents, especially from J.Bek...den after that just slept. stupid glenn kept waking me up in the morning when he eventually fell asleep himself.. grr! after that Darryl woke me up and said everyone left when Joanna and Pris were outside talking. after that just went home by cab with them den went home zzZZzz.. tired. I still am very tired.. ah well, that's all folks!

2004-12-25T09:24:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps!!! It's been 2days since I last blogged... too many things happened at home. My family ruined this christmas for me man... christmas this year is just so fucked up. My family fuck me upside down, Mark's a lousy shit head who ruined combined choir. Everything just sucks. I'm at home now, but this is the first time I came home in like 2 - 3 days. Remember I fought with my brother? Yeah... that bastard came home that night and he couldnt find his stuff when I dint even take it and he started accusing me of it... He even threatened to delete all my stuff from the computer. I was really emotional that day... I was so sad I cried for over half hour plus in front of father and even some of the G2 people. Just checked and my brother deleted some of my stuff.. really hate him. Bastard can't think everytime... just does things without thinking first... den I wanted to rush home by cab to help me find his lousy shit stuff, when I got on the cab he called and said he found it. He is a bastard I swear... when I needed my mum to talk to me and console me, she kept scolding me and I shouted until some neighbourhood in katong could hear me cause I could hear my echoes so far away... Fuck it man. I'm not talking to my mum anymore, she doesn't deserve to be called my mum. I've been staying over at Darren Leong's place for 2nights already. Tonight I'm gonna spend it at Jon. Chia's place since we're having a party there... ah well. Better... I hate my house, hate this home. Hate my mum... can't even trust me! I dont care about how she feels... when I reached home I just ignored her and she said... "Go church still like that, christmas also dont wanna talk to me.. bla bla bla!" dint bother listening to what she was trying to say, do you think I really care? Had to borrow money from Darren Leong cause I was starving and had no money. Not gonna ask my mother for money man. No way... She thinks she has her own pride, I have mine... Some kinda disrespect I'm getting. So what if I'm young. Cause of her, I had to scream and I lost my voice... I got this damn sore throat that caused me to not be able to reach the high notes for my choir singing. Luckily it's better... but it's her fault I can't sing properly. I just wanted to pull out of combined choir and pageant cause of that night. You know how hurting it feels... Life sucks cause of my mum. Christmas is ruined this year. Ah well... what can I do. I don't really care.. I'm gonna go out back to Darren Leong's house in a couple of hours I guess.. should start burning my things and hiding it from my brother or something. Reckless bitch. Ah that's about it.
Oh... went to church during the afternoon yesterday for sound check. Guess it was okay, after which me n nick went to lose for the cheapo pressies we getting for everyone in g2. :P sorry if I dint some of you guys really sincere presents, but I'm low on cash this year *Sigh*. I'll try to get a good pressie for you next year. After which went to life bookshop at parkway parade again... Wooo! this time I introduced Darren Leong to the 2CDs of heart of worship to Darren... he dint really like de urban one, but he thought that "the passion - the heart of worship" was not bad. ah wells... den i listened to a new release of Michael W. Smith. Man... his singing is really good alright. Woo, I let nick listen to it and he really liked it. Ah well, guess I gotta save money and buy those for myself. Rather buy this myself den let people gimme them as christmas pressies. So pai seh.. I just love them so much. Ah well... Must buy my 2bowling balls first! MWAHAHA... oh yeah, I went bowling that day and I bowled like crap. 141 average only... dont know why, was like I bowl a bit and I felt so darn tired so I just anyhow bowled after that. But my friend said that the lanes at pocketbowl is similar to that of victors, I guess I'll be training more at pocketbowl now since she said that... the lanes there are very very hard to master. At least de rates are cheaper. :D save money... kekek.
Ooo. Last night a few of us stayed over at Darren Leong's place but we dint really do much, we watched this really funny video, it was like a combination of the terminator and the birth of christ... haha! really funny... oh den we just sorted all the goodies into the bags for everyone. Den woke up this morning and all of us had to start writing the cards for the g2 people. I didn't write for everyone in the choir, there's just sooooo many new members and they haven't really been coming. Even some of the "older" members never come often so it's like what's there to write to them? There were quite a number of blank cards, 6 of us and no one could write anything, so you can imagine... ah well. That's all... I need some rest before mass later on.. *Yawn*

2004-12-23T03:03:00.000+08:00

BOO! Woah.. got sore throat again. But it's a sore throat well earned or well-deserved you could say. Wahaha~ That stupid conductor Mark doesn't like basses was standing in front of me yesterday... So I was singing very loudly into his ear,haha. Think he got pissed, that's why its a sore throat well-deserved. So right now I'm drinking tons of water so I can reach those high notes again... Sore throat no good though. Ah well... Combined choir's like soooo gonna suck this year. Yesterday had the worst attendance in all the combined choir practices, everyone hates Mark you see. Just cause of one guy Christmas mass is gonna be spoiled... :( Sobx! Christmas last year was really good... but this year it'd be nothing compared to last year's. On the brighter side, I'm sure everyone's gonna enjoy de pageant this year! The choral has been practicing real hard ( including myself! )... Yups. But it promises to be good. So for all those going for midnight mass! Be there for the pageant or be square! I swear it's gonna be good alright.
Wooo... had a fight with my brother the couple of days. As in quarrel... luckily no fight. I can't be bothered to fight. Yeah.. cause he stole my CD-Roms and used my handphone without my permission. Hmms... den his gf called me this morning and talked to me... Woah lao! BACKSTABBER BITCH sia she... she went to tell my brother everything I told her. So pissed!!!! I'm never talking to that woman again. She doesn't deserve to be trusted anymore, make my brother call me and start scolding me. Bloody hell... No one can be trusted. I shall not trust people so easily anymore! Stupid bitch. Grrr!
Oh yeah, went to the Leongs' place yesterday.. haha. den after that went to "play" pool... a couple of games that's all. den watched de other choir people play pool... zzzZZZzz,(stupid Cherie! Know you're reading this. :D). Went for dinner after that then for combined choir. Poor Darryl climbed over the gate and tore his shirt Daffy bought for him for Australia. Darryl... don't be sad la! Relax!!! After that went for supper... Gosh,I'm greedy! Keep eating and eating... haha. Just went home after everything, talked on the phone... sleep! :P yeah...
Got self bowling training later! Must bowl properly! TRASH TEMASEK JC!!! we are gonna get top 4 next year babies! So long peeps~~~ Dont forget to tag my board. Comment on my new layout too... I got this cute bloggie skin... haha

2004-12-21T04:43:00.000+08:00

Wooo... how long I never blog already.. haha. I'm so jealous, some other peoples' bloggies all so nice ya know, been trying to find nice blogskins but it's so hard. I actually wanted to just make my own bloggie skin by learning html and scripting it. But just not enough time... been wanting to learn html for a couple of years already but just have never done it... :'( booohooo!

Oh, the past few days really did lotsa of singing and training. Had training last wednesday to friday. Sea training,land then sea. My goodness, cool down was like 70 pull ups on the first sea training I came back from attachment.. and I was so demoralised cos I couldnt do my pull-ups properly. I was like crap, never train for 1month then my fitness drop like siao-ness. Last time do 50pull ups wont die yet.. but now!?!?! Do 30 already wanna die.okies... then thursday morning went for gym, damn shiok! I just love gym so much,makes your feel so damn good! after that had penitential service, so some of the G2 people came down and sang, my good-ness it wasnt easy cause a few of the songs we had to sing for... were not even in the breaking bread booklet or anything so there were no notes or scores to catch the way the song went... only de older members in G2 knew the song. Sobx... 10more years then I'll know all de songs... hahaha. Oh yeah, I couldn't even make my hands straight cause training killed my arms. Oof! keke...
Friday morning, din't know what time land training was so I dint go initially den I got woken up in the morning by a phonecall on my house phone. Woke up and found that I hit my handphone to the floor and it was ringing.. 9missed calls! I think 10 when I counted.. madness. My teammate and my captain were calling me. So I answered my teammate's call and it was my senior! Den she say "see la! attachment for so long never come training" :$ haha... sorry la! half-way through we were talking captain called "I want you to take cab and go to kallang now! Darren Tan's the only one there!" boohoo... Spent 7.80 for cab fare plus 1buck cause of peak period so 8.80!!! Wasted so much money la... damn sad damn sad. After sea training, rushed home... bathed then went for bowling training. Woah I got a 166Average.. haven't got so high in ages. I'm making lotsa progress in my bowling, I hope it's good enough... I need about a 190 average for A'div next yr. My other teammates really worry me. I hope we trash TJC bowling team and win something so I'll feel so happy for myself. The first team just has so much potential and I know we can win... just hope that no one makes stupid mistakes. Jeremy Seow especially... his sparing ah!!! Geesh... his strike rate is not bad.. but his spare rate so crappy. I think he made 4spares in 4games! that's 1spare per game.. how to win!!?!?! he hit a 130++ average. I had 15strikes in total for the 4games I think,so did he.. but I had 21spares? I can't remember... can't be that many right... 3open frames per game! BAH! Ah well... Improve train! Hopefully I got time next year to have personal training under Kieran,he makes me feel as though I got tons of potential. He actually advised me and Jeremy to train hard and try out for the youth nationals next yr... but it's A'levels. I shall see how... Okies.
That wasn't the end of the Friday. Had to rush down for bass sectionals at Darren Leong's house den sing sing sing! Played a fool. keke... shhh. But at least I knew my parts, and I think the basses are really making good progress. Ah wells, really happy to be section leader of such an enthusiastic section dont you say? After that I was just to tired to go for supper with the other guys so I dint go. Hur hur Hur...

Okay,then woke up early on Saturday preparing to sing for wedding, but when I woke up.my throat felt so hoarse so I sms-ed Darren and told him I couldn't make it for the wedding as I wasn't feeling well.yeah, Sandrine wanted to meet the planning committee for the New Year's Eve party and I was like so late and met Darren and he said it was cancelled! BAH! wasted sia.... could have rested at home longer. Okies never mind den, went for lunch at parkway parade after that and had to look for presents to gif the children's home. I think I went to eat again after carolling practice, attendance was really poor. Ah well. So I couldnt find a present at first so I had no choice but to buy this pikachu figurine set! :S but I just hope some small kid gets it and it makes him happy! lalalala. "Sang" for mass,haha.wanted to sing but I just couldn't cos of my voice. had prayer meet after that and we all watched one of the episodes of "touched by an angel", so many of them actually cried... but luckily I played a fool abit so I wouldn't cry. Phew! Ooo... den had supper and as usual talked lots of crap. :D

Sunday already! That was yesterday, went for pagaent practice and thought I was late. I was like de other person other then Gen who was earliest. haha... funny. den it like was there were only 2basses initially and no tenors, there weren't many people for practice yesterday. still remember I was like singing alone at one point and nobody was singing. David told me I sang too fast but then nobody said I was wrong. =D hur hur... Okies. Ah well... den went for lunch at mei yuan. Wooo.. the char siew rice there is rather good ok! haha... den went for combined choir practice which I dint wanna go to initially. Woah! There was like no G2 people... WOOHOO!!! haha.. shh. yeah, but I think alot of people not really interested in singing for combined choir this yr ( from G2 ), but I think cause some of us are really pissed with the attitudes of the other people from de other choir. But heck dem! haha... but Darren was kinda pissed cause of the attendance of the whole choir and the older members werent even there. Ah well... Okies. After that went to parkway and de other choir people went to shop for their xmas clothing, I'm like so not crazy over Xmas clothing since my mum's not rich so I just got a long sleeve shirt and I'm gonna wear it with a long black pants I already have and borrow a tie from Darren Leong. Ah well... den decided to go to Life Bookshop! my goodness!!! i've never seen those Heart of worship CDs... "urban" and "the passion"... woah damn blardy nice la... I was hearing it and I was like woooooooo!!! I have almost the whole heart of worship collection! HEART OF WORSHIP RULES!!! then later de other guys played pool, but I dont like pool so let's skip that. Then went for dinner.. damn shiok! bought food from this malay stall at the food centre, black pepper chicken + fried rice... damn good. Luckily that guy was right or I'd have killed him... haha. den ate de fabulous chwee kway! wooo nice nice. went home and had a good rest and drank lots of water.

Woke up around 9+ this morning cause somebody woke up with an SMS. wooo... weird eh. Okies dint go for training cos I'm like already not feeling well. yeah.. Winnie asked me who knew that parts for the carolling and i submitted about 10basses! Kenneth,Zach,Darren Leong,Myself,Darryl,Duane,Elden,Jared,Nicholas. okay it's 9, I counted wrongly... grrr. Ah well.. The name mentioned above, dont disappoint me :D
Okay, just submitted 2more names. Gerald and Jon Lim, had to confirm with Darren Leong. Thats about it for today... got carolling practice today at 7pm. lalala... which means supper n dinner outside. Wooo! Hope I have fun today. :D

2004-12-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

Yoyo people!!!! Feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! haha.. the attachment is finally over. luckily I dint win de presentation thing also, which means I dont need to present in front of MOE! WOOHOO!!! had training today, I got a sexy nice tan lei... I'm like hot. haha... kidding kidding. Hmmmm... really really drained out, my goodness never kayak for 1month. 6laps of kayaking with tubing my goodness, had to pull so hard but oh well, got gym tomorrow! woohoo... need to start training up by myself already or else my fitness will be like crap. Yeah, wait lose the J1s ah, no face. =D
I feel so much happier already, you know praying really does work. I was so so so confused that day with alot of things, but I prayed. Woo.. went to the adoration room for more than half an hour I think? Dint really take notice of the time. Anyways,my mind was really at such an ease after that. Prayin's just so wonderful... should do it more often. Haha... Oh, today was de first time I called up all de basses in g2. Let me tell you,it's such a difficult job... haha almost half of dem dint pick up their phones. So I have to call them another day.. ah wells. Okay... dont have much to say today.. at least I'm beginning not to think about her already!!! Got my mind off things.. Wooohoo!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

2004-12-11T17:32:00.000+08:00

"Guilty"

[VS 1 - (DUNCAN)]

I never want to play the games that people play
I never want to hear the things they gotta say
I've found everything I need
I never wanted anymore than I can see
I only want you to believe

[CHORUS - (LEE)]

If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind) - [ALL]
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime - [ALL]
Then I'm guilty

[VS2 - (SIMON)]

I wanna give you all the things you never had
Don't try to tell me how he treats you isn't bad
I need you back in my life
I never wanted just to be the other guy (be the other guy - [LEE])
I never wanted to live a lie

[CHORUS - (LEE)]

If it's wrong to tell the truth
What am I supposed to do
All I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind) - [ALL]
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime - [ALL]
Then I'm guilty

[BRIDGE - (ANTONY)]

Girl I followed my heart
Followed the truth
Right from the start it led me to you
Please don't leave me this way
I'm guilty now all I have to say

[CHORUS - (LEE)]

If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind (speak my mind) - [ALL]
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my hearts a crime - [ALL]
Then I'm guilty

[OUTRO]
What am I supposed to do [Duncan]
Then I'm guilty [Lee]
All I wanna do is speak my mind [All]
Gulity [Lee]
Then I'm guilty [Lee]
I'm prepared to testify [Duncan]
If it's wrong to do what's right then tell me about this feeling inside [Lee]
If loving you with all my hearts a crime [All]
I'm Guilty [Duncan]

Man.... I downloaded this song a couple of days back and really listen and checked out the lyrics. It's so perfect... I do love her, it seems to tell the whole story. Wish she just knew how much I was thinking about her each other. Wish she would read this in silence. For once I wished she cried, cried for me, tell me she loves me ( if she does, and I hope so ). I don't know... I feel so emotionally weak right now. Would someone just come right up to me and heal my wounds...
I'm on the verge of a break-down, I'm just so tired... Had combined choir practice just now. Thought I sounded really bad, I tried concentrating on singing but my focus wasn't there. I was just too tired, could be cause I had a long day... but I've survived long days without feeling that way... Why am I feeling so lethargic, I need energy... So... Tired. Oh, to add to that, the damn stupid TENOR guy thinks his singing is damn good or something. Talk to him purposely ignore me... b*stard, I got nothing to say. The people from my confirmation class who dislike/backstab me were there too. Dammit, I'm considering of stepping out for the singing for combined choir during Christmas Midnight Mass. Am so sick of looking at these bitches who think they're so perfect, YEAH!!! Tone deaf bitch... Why can't someone just tell her she can't sing instead of being so nice! Thats not being a true friend... She's just spoiling the mood of everyone whose singing in her section and I can hear her really off notes. Damn de other bitch who pretends and continues like nothing's a problem. They're partly a reason why I wanna step out of the combined choir, but I packed myself too many things this Christmas already, no wonder Alvin told us not to pack our Christmas and try to find out the true meaning of it instead... How come I dint remember his advice. Lord give me the strength to survive this Christmas and to inspire people through my singing(choir's singing)... Really hope everything will be fine at the end of the day and the rainbow appears after the dark stormy clouds are gone...
*Sigh*... I dont know man.. SOOOOOOOO tired... hmmm, I need a really good rest this weekend. I don't think anything's gonna slow down for me. Got CCA(s) everyday, gotta catch up with my homework(complete it)... Okies.. I'm gonna sleep soon if my friend doesn't SMS me. Nites Peeps~

2004-12-09T07:46:00.000+08:00

Grrr... Now I'm feeling pissed. So irritated by some people, show me attitude only. Just now chat with Joanna and she was like, What?, Ya?, Okay. Damn friggin' hostile towards me... then i asked her whats her problem, she says I got lots of problems. It's like she say I always say she act cute, dont know I joking? Den yesterday we were chatting and she kept "?"-ing and I told her to stop it, and just now she told me she "?" also cannot... Pissfying man!!! What the hell sia... Now I'm beginning to wonder why she find people irritating and starts talking behind their backs... I bet she gonna start talking about me to someone, she keeps talking bad about other people. I'm wondering who has the real problem, the people she's pissed with or she herself. She gets irritated over the kid-iest of little matters... people joke with her she gets pissed. Whats her problem? *GEESH* I'm trying to stay calm and not thinking of things I'm gonna do that's going to be irrational. GRR....
And she has to add to all my worries and pressure already... my temper's gotten bad like when it used to again. My fuse is getting short...
Haiz... I really wish she was with me, by my side.. *sigh*, I really can't stop thinking about her,I wish I could... I just realised that out of the 95% of girls I liked after breaking up with her, they have a similar resemblance to her one way or another. It's like either they're from band or they're not that tall compared to me... I used to kinda tease her about being short.. *Sigh*, but that's what thing I love about her.. AHHHH! Somebody help me... take away this pain and pressure from me. I got so many things to think about... Her,School,This project I'm supposed to present in 2days time, CCAs,church... just too many things to take up on my own.

2004-12-08T09:03:00.000+08:00

Hey people.. countdown till the end of this attachment. 2more days left before I never touch this office again!Yeah yeah!
Geesh, ya know... I've been sleeping the whole day again. It's not as though I've not enough sleep or anything... I dont know why I keep sleeping. Am I too depressed over her that I feel so drained out and all? I just woke up cause of a phonecall in the office... But damn.. I had a dream of her again, it's just too little to know what the dream's about. *Sigh*... A question that keeps running through my mind is what if she goes back to that guy. They have so many opportunities to see other, CCA,school... every single one to patch. How about me? Even if I wanted her more than anything thing else the world could offer... It wouldn't be easy. I'm staying at the other end of Singapore, She's in Ang Mo Kio, I'm in Bedok... Our schools are even furthur... She's in ACJC, I'm in TPJC. Are we not meant to be? I really dont know... *Sigh*.I guess that's all I have to say right now... but this is getting infuriating as each day passes...

-Things are just gonna get worse with each passing day... when will I ever hold your hands again?-

2004-12-07T08:47:00.000+08:00

Yo Peepz!~ *sigh* Last week of work... have been sleeping the whole day at work, played mahjong with some of the choir peeps yesterday until 4am. So now you know why I have been sleeping the whole day? haha...
Hmmm... now now, why did I sigh? Its just weird what human nature does to you, how your curiousity brings you one step furthur to getting more depressed in life. I was looking for Benjamin on friendster ( my ex's other ex )... hope that doesn't confuse you anyway. Took me pretty fast to find him, and when I checked out his profile, I saw her in one of his pic. Dammit.. I can't stand it, I'm trying all my best to forget her.. But I just have nothing to forget her. Yes I can forget about her and sing all day in church,at the end of the day,I'd just have some time to think about her again. Someone tell me why I can't forget her... I really want to,it hurts too much,I can't take this no more... I really miss her so much, what should I do, I don't know what anymore, I've tried to hard yet I failed time and again... Are we not meant to be? Or is it just some trials I have to get true.. A test set by GOD? I dont know, but I really have no idea what I should about her in life anymore. I've stopped messaging her already, but it isn't helping... It's getting worse... Please help me.. someone. All I can do right now is just to pray, but whose gonna lend me his/her shoulder when I really need it...
That's all guys... I'm just feeling very down right now, I'll try to post something brighter the next time I blog ya? Tata.. *sigh*

2004-12-04T05:27:00.000+08:00

My my... christmas is coming very soon eh! hehe.. Oh!!! Lynda's in Singapore already!!! My "sister", I've known her for like many years already, I waited for her at the airport from 945 till 1030 yesterday cause she said her plane will be arriving at 9+!!! and the flight was delayed... grrr and the stupid tv thing dint show any delayed flights! Damn! I wanted to pick her up... oh well, I guess I'll only be seeing tomorrow after mass but it won't be long I guess, cause she's going out if I'm not wrong.
Ooo,the tuition peeps during my o level's are gonna visit mr.thong tonight... wonder whats the occasion, oh well... I should be rushing straight down from here to his place today and all of them will be waiting for me, so nice.. haha!
Oh, and finally this attachment is getting a bit more interesting for me. Its cause I got more stuff to do. This china guy doesn't really know how to work with powerpoint(which I dont think so... haha), yeah anyways.. been helping him out with certain stuff and information he needed. So it's been much better, but when I've done all that I needed to help him with, I'll be dead bored. -_-... yeah sobx sobx. 1more week of attachment left! WOOOHOOO!
Okay, choir people officially finish their camp today. Wonder if they had fun.. hope they did. Haha... hmmms. Went swimming yesterday and I think I did fairly okay, need lots more training! But missed out so much kayaking, I'm like so dead when training comes. That's all peepz!!! Tata~. (Nice lunch I just had.. =])

2004-12-01T12:43:00.000+08:00

Hey people!!! wonder how long it's been since I last blogged, not that long anyway.. haha! Oh well, I sound cheerful don't I? But I ain't really that cheerful. Basically my ex has decided not to get into a relationship at the moment or so she says? I will never show, and the other guy's pestering her and saying the same stuff I'm saying? Now that's weird... Oh well, I've decided to stop messaging her for the time being or really sms her once a week or something. Yeah, I guess I'll leave things as they are and really let life take its course. It breaks my heart when I think about it, but when I don't... perhaps I feel happy. I'm just wondering if I should find someone new... she's broken my heart so many times although I was the one who broke up with her. She went with another guy to forget me, in the process to fill that "empty void" I tried going after girls I din't really like and got myself hurt even more. It just seems I'm torturing and hurting myself as each day passes by. I've told her how I felt, but she just wants to remains as friend. Guess there's nothing I can do, but I've said I will wait for her... But she said she doesn't love me, and I might not get the end I want in the process of waiting... so to wait or not to wait? You know.. I found the 400-500+ stars I made for her in a span of less than 2weeks during February when I wanted to get her back, but it was too late so I dint continue. Now, they're just collecting dust at home... I dont know what to do no more... *sigh*
On the brighter side of life, I think I'm officially the Bass Section Leader for my church choir (genesis2)! Yeah, I'm very happy! Yeah yeah... I can continue serving the church community and the choir itself but there comes great responsibility with the position but I won't know till I try... Just got to learn how to sort my time real soon.
Oh yeah... I haven't started praciticing for my 2nd swimming trials which I dont know when it will be since it clashes with my attachment programme. But yeah, it clashed with all my ccas and its hindering from all my training(except bowling I guess) ... next week is the last week though! Yeah Yeah! But... I got a poster project to hand in and present :'( *sobx* In the mean time, I have like nothing to do at office so I sleep most of the time, but it's really so uncomfortable... I don't know what to present for the project... GEESH! I really need help...
Hmmms,I'm sure I got lots to say but I just can't think of it. Oh yeah, this week's the 1st week of advent or the last sunday was the 1st Sunday! Yeah, The candle of HOPE was lit, so I guess I should hope for things in life? I'm not sure either... but hope supposed to exists somewhere I can't see. Hope the Lord shows me the way. Next Sunday, the candle that represents peace will be lit! Yeap! Okies.. that's all people. Hope you have a good time during the week.

2004-11-27T13:17:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey! It's the weekend already so faaaasstttt.... and I'm still thinking about her. But I'm learning to take my time, slow and steady wins de race yah? haha...
Okies, tomorrow is a full day of singing again. Have wedding to sing for in the morning, after that we have bass sectionals, den practice for evening mass and after mass a prayer session. Wooo, so basically I'll be out the whole day tomorrow.. no chance to use the computer eh? Haha..
Oh yeah, I had a talk with one of the guys in charge today about my attachment being very dull and what I expected it not to be. So he gave a rather long talk over everything and he told me to keep an open mind. Hmmmzzz... oh well, I guess I'll try to take his advice! So right now, next monday, I'll try working on the project that's due in 2weeks time that needs to be presented. ( Geesh! Like Project Work!!! ) haha... Okies, that's all for today I guess.. Oh one last thing, I got a haircut! Finally!!!

2004-11-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

Hey! Long time never update.. have been busy with my attachment programme,or i should i say not busy. I signed up for some attachment with local research institutes under some MOE thingy and i got it. So we're supposed to conduct research but what do I get?!?! I sit down everyday in front of the computer not doing anything. I'm supposed to update their books, I've finished my part of the job. I really this ends quickly... I cant take it anymore.

I thought I had forgotten her, but I still love her. It's been more than 1year that I left my ex. But I've been given a sign or something... I just dont understand. I woke up one day after having a dream about her... that she has always been in my heart. Just a hidden fact. I've tried getting her back once but she rejected, now when I have my chance... I'm screwing it up. I dont know, I really wanna let her have all the time and tell me when she's ready... But I'm pushing her and myself too fast.. I cant control these emotions that are so strong that live for her. But right now, I can only remind myself that we have to go slow.. at least me. And what she wants right now is to start from friends.. I don't know whether she will be my christmas dream this year, but i really hope so. That's all I want in my life, I have regretted too much, lied too myself, had too many infatuations. My straight-forwardness has just been causing me to hurt myself time and again this year... I just hope things can go back to what they were in the past. With her.... Bowling well... studying well... I think it's just her...

2004-11-15T17:07:00.000+08:00

Wooo... Slept till 6pm today since I have been talking to someone on the phone until 2am for the past four nights. But was also very sleepy since I had a long day, had training.. went out then went for church! Sang sang sang! I love singing... yeah.. hehe! So i reached home around 11pm. Oh yeah, I ate this japanese ramen yesterday "Super Spicy Ramen", I could take the taste but my stomach couldn't so I had to go to the toilet for like half hour :S but felt better after that.

So today, ate my mum's cooking "Soto Ayam", some indonesian recipe she has anyway. It was okay.. and the release of episode 117 of the one piece anime was released finally after a long period of waiting. So i downloaded it went to sleep and watched it after that. Was quite okay, as usual these shows leave u suspense at the end so I'll have to wait till the next episode to find out what happens. Tomorrow's Hari Raya Puasa, wanted to bowl but the rates too expensive. But I might be going for a mass for all church choirs in Singapore celebrated by the Arch-Bishop, I wonder how the singing would sound tomorrow.. hmmm. Okay. That's all for today. :D

2004-11-13T13:24:00.000+08:00

Hello! Long time no blog.. haha, just remembered I had a blog but dont know why I'm blogging... super bored I guess... so sad sylvester dint get kicked out of Singapore Idol.
Anyways, went bowling this morning, met 2 of my bowling-mates to bowl! But hit an average of 150 over 5games, not going to win anything with this kinda score. Just hope that once my self-training intensifies and I try hard I can beat TemasekJC at least. I'm not gonna allow them to win anything.
After that went to eat at long john silver's at tampines and chatted with da peeps. Yeah, den i had to rush home and go off to CMPB(central manpower base) which was like at redhill!?!?! Just to defer my army enlistment cause I missed the online exercise... and I went there to click the mouse a couple of times!?! What a waste of time, oh wells... after that nap nap den watch tv n ate dinner.
Okay, that's it, tomorrow still got training... DragonBoat... but got running! FUN! so long.

2003-05-27T13:00:00.000+08:00

is it ordinary today? i dont know.. but hmmm... 3 more papers left for me to concentrate on. i kinda actually switched off for now already.. haha, hmmm.. just 1week left before i get my results.. WHEEE!!!

I'm Back!!!

2003-05-26T12:45:00.000+08:00

HEY HEY! i'm back everybody, so boring so i guess i decided to input some journal stuffy.. haha check it out babes! so i've been busy lately with my exams but have been really studying and i feel proud about it, can't wait to get my results anyway. :P
made some stupid careless mistakes though, but oh well... that's me!

hmmm.. so i'm kinda getting sick of bowling, but i definately love rugby and the team of temasek jc rocks, they're all my best friends. oh well, that's about it.. see what else i can write about in time to come.. hmmm..

have fun people!

First Entry

2002-06-12T13:53:00.000+08:00

This is my first entry,I hope I like it and so will the people who are reading this,I guess I got to get used to this form of typing my "Open Diary",anyway,I had a relatively casual yet boring day except for tuition. Tuition always brightens up my live, I get to see people whom I seriously trust whole-heartedly, althought they are my new friends, I believe we had a good start to our friendship, anyway I guess I trust Charmain(e),Sini and Shaun right now since we have had chats over the internet, so I guess I'll be much closer to them than to the rest. Anyway, I'll input many entries in future regarding my Love Life,What Is Love etc. etc. I am basically a guy whose feelings have been broken once too many and so I kind of understand the meaning of "Once Bitten,Twice Shy!"
Anyway I'm going to input this entry and I'll see about the future.
Bye,Hope you guys out there will know more about me.